The Road Less Traveled

Dear Readers,

2008-03-26T13:45:00.004-04:00

Dear Readers,

I've moved! I'm now blogging at: http://taracleaver.wordpress.com. I've been there for about two weeks now. I didn't want to say anything until I'd moved in and tidied the place up a little bit. I am still getting settled, but please stop by. That's where I'll be blogging now. Naturally, this blog will still be up, but if you're looking for anything new, head over to the address above. Enjoy!

Tara

p.s. Don't forget to update your links!

p.p.s. It's semi-chronological. This is the first page, and the first post is entitled (appropriately enough) "Moving". I hope to hear from you over there!

Temptation redux

2008-03-01T16:52:00.004-05:00

On Tuesday at our small group, the discussion got onto temptation. One of our small group leaders threw out a question. We didn't really talk about it, but it is something that I've been thinking about since then.

While discussing temptation, the point was raised that temptation itself is not a sin. After all, "we have one [Jesus] who has been tempted in every way, just as we are — yet was without sin" (Hebrews 4:[14], 15). And our small group leader's question was, "How long do you think we can hold on to temptation? At what point would it become a sin? (Would it become a sin?)" We were all silent thinking about this. He said, "We don't have to answer that. Just throwing it out there as something to think about." We were silent some more and so we moved on in our discussion. I think we were intending to come back to it later, but the discussion took enough turns that we didn't get back to it.

I don't know if holding on to temptation is a sin, or rather, at what point it becomes a sin, but I do know this: the longer we harbour temptation, the more difficult it is to resist giving into it. I'll return to the metaphor of the forbidden cookie. You've been told quite strictly not to eat the cookie, but as you're walking through the kitchen, you see it sitting on the counter. You're hungry and it smells so good. If you turn and walk out of the kitchen (or cover it and put it away if you need to be in the kitchen), you'll have a far better chance of resisting eating it than if you sit at the kitchen table and stare at it. Or if you get close enough to inhale its aroma. Or if you see some cookie crumbs beside it on the plate and decide to eat those. Or maybe you'll just take one of the chocolate chips off of the top (no one will really miss them anyway). Or if you just break off the misshapen edge of it (who could tell?). Well, and truly, there are so many cookies from that batch, what difference is one going to make?

At what point do you sin? Is the sin in the eating of the whole cookie, or eating a part of it? Or perhaps it is in choosing to gaze after it rather than walking away. It is difficult to know, but the longer one toys with the idea of consuming the cookie (why else does one look at or smell a food item, if not with the desire to ingest it?) the more difficult it is to resist actually eating it. That is what temptation is, after all: the desire to partake in something that we know to be forbidden. The longer we entertain thoughts of actually participating in said sin, the more likely it is that we will take steps in the direction of participating in it. James 1:13-15. I think that harbouring temptation is having something in thought that we know we shouldn't have in reality. And because, predominantly, thoughts are the precedents to actions, when we entertain thoughts of doing what we oughtn't to do, it is much more difficult to resist the doing. It is far better to refuse to indulge in the thought to keep the action from becoming enticing enough that we can no longer resist.

One of the girls in our small group passed on some wisdom from her grandparents. They said that young people are more likely to feel like they cannot approach God when they are being tempted, because they feel unholy and unworthy to approach God's throne. Her grandparents said that this is categorically untrue. It is when we are being tempted that we most need to approach God. God wants to hear our prayers even and especially when we are in the midst of temptation. They said to pray for someone else. "Pray for missionaries," they said. Prayer accomplishes two things: it gets our minds off of our temptations and it allows us to surrender that which is beyond our control to the One who knows best how to handle it.

Swing dance, anyone?

2008-02-24T16:26:00.002-05:00

My friend J-- taught me to swing dance. He is a good teacher, no?

Pretty good dancer, too ;)

Sesame Chicken

2008-02-04T19:20:00.000-05:00

I promise, this isn't going to become a cooking blog! I'm just very excited about this:

p.s., that's Pepsi in the glass. I am of the opinion that if you go to that kind of work to prepare a lovely meal, it should look lovely, too. 'Course, not everyone agrees with me, but especially when I'm cooking for myself, I like it when my meals look pretty.

The original recipe made 6 servings. Seeing as it was just me eating, and I didn't want leftovers for the rest of my life (and by life, I mean week), I used the scale/conversion widget they have on the website to scale it down to one serving, making the measurements very strange. So I'm including the link to the recipe, and that way you can choose to scale it as you please! It was very good. I quite enjoyed the meal. If you try it, I hope you do, too!

Tuesdays

2008-01-30T16:32:00.000-05:00

Yesterday at my small group, we were talking about church unity, an appropriate topic considering what last week was. Something that we were working through was the question raised of the difference between unity and uniformity. I think in a lot of instances, what causes us as Christians to shy away from the idea of unity with other Christians (from other denominations, etc) is the confusion of what unity would look like, versus uniformity. A good friend of mine shared a very good illustration for this difference.

Unity is all playing on the same team; uniformity is all playing the same way.

I think this is a good point to take into consideration. As Christians, we are all playing on the same team, but we lose this by arguing about how each of us is playing. Not only are we all playing different positions, but we also play differently (someone mentioned the idea of how we criticize each other's technique in kicking the ball). If someone begins playing in a way that is detrimental (kicking the ball in the wrong direction, passing to the other team, turning on teammates) that is something that needs to be called out and the reasons for it need to be dealt with. But we are losing so much by picking at each other for how we kick the ball. This picking at each other is something that needs to be addressed, something we should definitely be thinking about, and thinking about how to change.

It was a friend's birthday yesterday. Happy Birthday, Matty!

I came home from class today and found on the ledge just inside the door to my apartment a bag of "Rooibos Tea, straight from Africa!" for me from another friend who has, as one might have been able to predict, just come back from Africa. I think it was left there last night, but I only discovered it today. Thanks Megan! I had some after class and it is delicious.

Tuesdays are actually pretty good days ;)

New tea, inside with a book, watching the snow fall

2008-01-26T19:18:00.001-05:00

1. Spending all day reading.

2. Well, actually, spending this morning at the grocery store and praising God for the complete lack of wind as I was walking to and from the bus stop. Had there been wind, the trip would have been shockingly cold and therefore far less enjoyable. The walk was beautiful, though. It was gently snowing and everything seemed so quiet.

back to 1. Even though it was for school (some of it), it was all reading that I am thoroughly enjoying. One of these days, I might take it into my head to write out a list of the books and stories I am responsible for knowing this term. But perhaps it would be safer to wait until the term is over. Right now, it is only a vague sense and acknowledgment of volume. Should I write it all out, it might become overwhelming. I have also managed to find time (or make time) to read some more of the pure-enjoyment books I started over the Christmas break, the ones that I really should have finished over the Christmas break in order that they would not be a distraction to me now. C'est la vie.

3. The different kinds of snow falling all day. This morning, it was little bits coming rather hurriedly down. They were anxious to find the ground, I think. This afternoon, they were big bits of fluff, floating rather lazily. They seemed to be enjoying the journey and were in no hurry for it to end. This night, they are smaller, but they are more excited than they were this morning. My blinds are still open and the light shining out from my room is reflected off of the snowflakes when they turn in just the right fashion. Little sparks of light appear for just a moment, like fireflies, but smaller, faster and in far too many places. The light is also reflecting more steadily off of that which has already fallen. It is a beautiful scene. It is amazing the subtleties with which our eyes absorb light.

Inter-Floor Warfare

2008-01-26T15:26:00.001-05:00

Okay, so it isn't actually warfare, but there is a certain degree of friendly and unspoken rivalry in the building where I live. There are eight apartment units (32 individual inhabitants of these dwellings) and one vacuum cleaner. The apartment building is on our university campus so is, in a way, very much like a residence in that much is provided for us in the way of furniture, maintenance, and things like vacuum cleaners. And because for many of us, our stay is no more than two terms, we do not bother with things such as purchasing our own vacuum cleaners. Instead, we all depend on this one vacuum cleaner that is shared between these eight units. The issue of rivalry comes up between our floor and the floor below us. It is subtle. In fact, I doubt many of us have actually thought about it, but this vacuum cleaner, even though it has likely lived here since 1983 (I jest; the building has only been around for 5 or 6 years, but it is an old, ugly beast of a machine), yet it still has no permanent home. There isn't a storage closet for it anywhere. Instead, it lives either in the stairwell on the floor below us (or at the end of their hall) or it lives at the end of our hall. Because it is so bulky, it is quite the event to carry it up or down the flight of stairs that separates our floors, therefore, should the vacuum cleaner be below and someone up here wants to use it, they carry it up, use it and then leave it in its home on our floor. Should someone from below then want to use it, they carry it down, use it and leave it in its home on the floor below. After all, one never knows who will wish to use it next, someone from downstairs or someone from this floor. We move it hoping or expecting it to be for the convenience of someone on our floor (and for the convenience of not having to carry it back). It just struck me as rather amusing today. I went to retrieve it in order to clean up a mess of shattered, scattered candies (yes, I made the mistake of dropping a candy bracelet on the hard tile of our kitchen floor) and even though I got the vacuum cleaner from downstairs, I left it at the end of our hall. And so the rivalry continues. Sort of ;)

Ode to Shoe

2008-01-20T19:35:00.001-05:00

Aside from the The Road Less Traveled and variations thereof, ode to shoe is one of the most popular search strings that leads people to this blog. I wrote an Ode to Shoe Thieves just over a year ago after two of my friends thought it would be amusing to remove my footwear from my apartment and hide it somewhere just outside the building where it would be very difficult for me to reach. It turns out this escapade was the catalyst for producing one of my favourite little bits of doggerel*. But it has received a surprising number of hits from people presumably looking for something else, some "Ode to Shoe". I've done a Google search for it, which brought up a couple of different odes to shoes, but I'm curious, if you are here because of typing in that search string, what ode is it that you're looking for and why? I am seeking to determine the reason why so many people from so many different places are using this search string. Hopefully someone can alleviate my curiosity.

*a comic verse of usually loose or irregular measure

Carrot and Ginger Soup

2008-01-18T11:10:00.000-05:00

Ingredients

1/2 medium butternut squash
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 onion, diced
1 pound carrots - peeled and diced
3 cloves garlic, crushed or to taste
1 (2 inch) piece fresh ginger, peeled and thinly sliced
4 cups water
salt and pepper to taste
1 pinch ground cinnamon
1/4 cup heavy cream (optional)

Directions

1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Scoop seeds out of the butternut squash half, and place cut side down onto a greased baking sheet. Bake for 30 to 40 minutes, or until softened. Allow to cool, then scoop the squash flesh out of the skin using a large spoon and set aside. Discard skin.

2. Heat olive oil in a large saucepan or soup pot over medium heat. Add chopped onion and garlic, and cook, stirring until onion is translucent. Pour in the water, and add squash, carrots and ginger. Bring to a boil, and cook for at least 20 minutes, or until carrots and ginger are tender.

3. Puree the mixture in the blender, or using an immersion blender. Add boiling water if necessary to thin, but bear in mind this is meant to be a thick creamy soup. Return soup to the pan, and heat through. Season with salt, pepper and cinnamon.

4. Ladle into serving bowls, and pour a thin swirl of cream over the top as a garnish if desired.

Review

I found this on allrecipes.com. I didn't use cream in it, but I didn't need to. This soup was amazing! It's a sweeter soup, naturally, but it was the kind of soup that... I don't even know the proper language for describing it, but the flavour takes advantage and changes based on where in your mouth you're tasting it. When I first took a taste, I was like, "oh, that's nice..." but once I had swallowed it, I was like, "oh! that's nice..."

The prep time for this recipe is apparently 55 minutes altogether: 10 minutes to get everything ready, 45 minutes to cook everything, but it definitely took me much longer than that. I don't have a lot of experience when it comes to preparing certain ingredients. For example, I'd never used fresh garlic, fresh ginger nor butternut squash before. And though I've certainly used carrots, I'd never diced a pound of them before. But half of the enjoyment of this soup was the way everything smelled as I was preparing it. The ginger and garlic released an amazing amount of fragrance, and the squash itself was simply beautiful. I wanted someone to walk by as I was preparing it to be baked because it just smelled so lovely! No one did, but perhaps next time (if I get up the courage to make it again!).

I was so excited by the way it tasted that I ended up skittering around, asking several of my friends if they wanted to come try my soup. They were all very enthusiastic, and more so once they'd tried it.

So by way of rating it, I would give this soup 5 out of 5 stars for its flavour and texture, and giving a warning as to the prep time being longer than the recipe claims it is, I would recommend this soup for sure. If the title appeals or you are a fan of squash soups, you would enjoy this. But make it on an evening where you have lots of time ;)

Everything prepared

Mmm, yummy carrots

Squash

Gah! What a mess!

Finished! (after several bowls have been dished out)

Mmm... yummy soup...

Exertion

2008-01-12T16:02:00.000-05:00

I've realized that there are some situations where I need to exert myself to enjoyment. Joy is as much a practice as it is an experience. You can experience joy based on the situations around you, but there are also times where you can adjust your pattern of thinking. Rather than only reacting to a situation and what it has to offer me, I've decided to take the time to exert myself and figure out what I have to offer to it.

Penny for your thoughts?

2008-01-08T11:42:00.001-05:00

Though I guess this one is more worth a twenty...

I enjoy discovering messages like this :) I took out some money from the bank and this was the bill I received. Though (as far as I know ;) ) the message was not intended for me, it still brought a smile to my face.

Go, go!

2008-01-03T14:16:00.000-05:00

;)

http://www.richardcleaver.com/?p=2005

New Year's Resolutions

2008-01-01T22:40:00.000-05:00

As is currently the tradition, this is the time of year to make resolutions, goals about how we wish to improve in the New Year.

I spent my New Year's with some of my closest friends. We laughed, played games, did crosswords, watched a movie, talked well into the wee hours of the morning... and then slept the next day away (well, part of it, anyway ;) ).

These are some of my resolutions for the New Year:

1. I will be more decisive.

I have this unfortunate tendency to put off decisions until the last possible moment, or until someone else makes them for me. In fact, I have perfected the art of conversing in such a way so that I don't have to make decisions. The truth of the matter is that a lot of the time, I don't have a preference. But the other truth is that I am not excused from making a decision because I don't have a preference. At the very least, I would like to get to the point where, even if I don't have a preference, I can offer a suggestion. "What would you like to do, Tara?", "Well, I don't really have a preference, but maybe we could do this." So, no more I-don't-care's.

2. I will remember that physical activity helps with stress management.

Walks are good. Skating is good. Racing to the end of the path/the bridge/the sign/the car is good. When I am stressed, something needs to be working, and more often than not, I let my mind run, rather than my legs. While running legs (or other physical activity of choice) works off the stress and helps to put it in perspective, running thoughts usually just add to the stress.

3. I will breathe Scripture.

It has been ages since I have dedicated time and thought to God's Word. Yes, I have read it. Yes, I have even studied it a little. But I haven't dwelt in it. I haven't spent the time that I ought and I haven't been working to make it a part of who I am. When someone dwells in poetry, for example, the lines become a part of themselves and they breathe it out as they go through life. Lines from favourite poems will accompany thoughts and sights and sounds. That is true for me. I would like to work towards that experience with Scripture.

4. I will find a stronger rein for my tongue.

Silence and gravity are probably words that were well-applied to me when I was younger. I have found a certain amount of freedom as of late, to say what I think and feel, and to be open and honest. However, as with most everything, there needs to be a balance. I need to find a stronger rein for my tongue, or a better filter to put in between my brain and my lips, or better yet, to revamp the course that my thoughts usually take so that I double my thoughts before allowing words to leave my mouth. I would like to bless rather than frustrate, encourage rather than criticize, build-up rather than tear-down. Even just little things like joking sarcasm, or sharing an observation about someone that they may not wish to be known, are things that I would like to avoid doing.

5. I will not be afraid to make mistakes.

I read a quote from an 85-year-old women. When asked what she would do differently in her life, she said that she would make more mistakes. Mistakes, I wrote later in my journal, are among the things God uses to teach us. If we never made mistakes, we would never fall, but we would never improve, either. It is not a sin to make a mistake.

6. I will choose to live joyfully and full of hope.

In the worship song Blessed Be Your Name a line goes, "My heart will choose to say/Lord, blessed by Your Name." Jesus Christ is the basis for my hope and my joy and I would like to choose to live my life out of that hope, and in that joy.

7. I will have fun.

I'm excited for this next year, to see what it holds, what will happen. It is also my last term of my degree (provided nothing unexpected happens), and after that, the start of something new. There is much to be done, much to be excited for, much to plan and hope and dream.

May God's blessings be on this next year and on all of my readers.

Belated

2008-01-01T21:30:00.001-05:00

Oh, yes, and Happy New Year!

God's blessings on you in this year, 2008 :)

Just Throw It

2008-01-01T20:40:00.000-05:00

The promised jam session in two parts. The sound guys were setting up for the Christmas Eve service while these guys were rocking out.

Merry Christmas!

2007-12-25T15:17:00.000-05:00

This is the problem with having two bloggers in one household. Even though our blogs usually cover different topics, there are inevitably times where we see the same thing at the same time and both want to blog about it. I suppose, though, that since he mentioned first that he wanted to blog about it, his blog takes precedence. Even so, I couldn't resist blogging about it myself ;)

Our family attended a Christmas Eve service at our church last night. It was a fabulous evening. My dad, brother and friend played. During one of the songs, they each got to play a solo and rocked out. I have a video of Josh and Steve practicing. I'll post that within the next couple of days, but for now, what I want to post is another video that was played during the Christmas Eve service.

check out more of their videos at sncproductions.com

Merry Christmas everyone!

The Sheep, the Coin and the Son

2007-12-20T23:25:00.000-05:00

God is not passive about us.

I think for a very long time, I have felt like this about God. He sits and doesn't move and it's up to us to determine how close we get to Him. This was probably partially assisted by the popular phrase, "If you're feeling far from God, guess who moved", the implication being that we can only feel far from God if we move away from Him. This, to me anyway, always implied a certain amount of passivity on God's part. But that isn't true. God is not passive about us.

I am reminded of Luke 15, for three very powerful illustrations as to how God feels about us. Please follow that link for the full text of the passage.

In the first of these illustrations, we are compared to sheep and Jesus to the shepherd who is guarding us. This first illustration asks the audience to think of what happens when one sheep wanders away. There are a couple of things I noticed in this passage. First of all, Jesus is talking of a flock of one hundred sheep. These aren't ten or twenty where it's easy to tell that a sheep is missing. It's a hundred sheep! If I were to look at a pile of pennies, I couldn't tell you the difference between a pile of 100 and a pile of 99. This is how much Jesus cares for us. In a flock of one hundred sheep, he can tell when it dwindles down to 99. He sees us. He knows us. He notices us. Second, he comes after us. We've wondered off, we've gotten lost, but he comes after us. And when he finds us (not if, when), he is so overjoyed by us that he carries us home on his shoulders, showing us to his friends and neighbours. "Rejoice with me," he says (verse 6), "I have found my lost sheep."

The second illustration compares us to a lost coin, and Jesus to the woman who owns it, trying to find it. But this isn't a light search, looking in corners and behind furniture before deciding, "oh well, I'll look for it another day". This is an active, avid search. She lights a lamp, sweeps the house and searches carefully for it, until she finds it (verse 8). Jesus isn't passive about us in this illustration either. He searches for us, seeks after us, comes for us until he finds us. And the result is the same. "Rejoice with me," the woman says (verse 9), "I have found my lost coin." Jesus continues, "In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents" (verse 10). "Rejoicing in the presence of the angels" can be interpreted in two ways, I think. In the first, the angels are having a party. In the second, God, in front of all the angels, is rejoicing over a sinner who repents. Which is incredible.

The final illustration in the passage uses a comparison that is closest to how we actually are. God is compared to a man with an estate he is planning on passing on to his sons. We are compared to one of those sons. The son that we are compared to, the youngest, goes up to his father and asks for his half of the estate. The son doesn't care about his responsibilities anymore, he doesn't care about being part of the family. He wants his half of the money and to go. And go he does. He leaves and spends all his money, squandering it in "wild living" (verse 13). Eventually he gets to the point where he is poor and hungry and, realizing that his father's servants would be eating better than he was, he decides to return home and beg for a job as a servant in his father's household. "I have sinned against heaven and against you," he decides to say (verse 18-19). "I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men." And he returns home. The amazing part of the story is his father's reaction. In that day, a respectable man would never run, but would always walk, dignified, graceful. But what does his father do? "While [his son] was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him" (verse 20). He runs. He loves us so much that he runs. And not only does he run out to greet us, but he clothes us, prepares a feast for us and doesn't let us even think about giving up our place as his child.

When we don't know any better, he searches every corner for us until he finds us.
When we know better but somehow lose our way without meaning to, he leaves what he is doing to come searching for us.
When we know what we're doing and leave anyway, all it takes is for us to start walking back and he runs to meet us, hugs us and kisses us.

No matter what it feels like, God is not passive about us.

Hot Chocolate

2007-12-20T15:57:00.000-05:00

Well, the family is home for Christmas and today, Josh and I received our first joint task: to walk Matthew home from school. (For those just joining, Josh is my 19, soon-to-be 20, year-old brother; Matthew is my 10-year-old brother).

Walking, however, does not adequately describe the experience. Strolling, interrupted by bouts of wrestling that eventually ended up with one, or both of them (and sometimes me) in a snowbank, is a more accurate description of how we made our way home. Matthew didn't wear his snowpants on the way home, and neither Josh nor I have owned a pair since some time in elementary school. Josh did not have any gloves either. Needless to say, by the time we arrived home, we were cold and wet (though bouyed up by whatever endorphins we had managed to generate on the way home). As the boys were changing into dry clothes, I set about making hot chocolate. A friend's mom described a delicious way of making hot chocolate, which I have been using since I heard of it. Place the mix inside of the cup, add enough milk to cover the mix, stir it up very well, add the boiling water and then stir again. It makes it rich and frothy. Unfortunately, the mug for Matthew was quite a bit smaller than the mugs for Josh and myself, but I think I added the same amount of hot chocolate mix. His first taste of it produced an expression akin to disgust.

"What's the matter, is it too strong?"
"No, it's just, I can taste the hot chocolate stuff..." (meaning the powdered mix)
"Oh, okay, so I put too much mix in. I'm sorry."

He didn't seem the least perturbed beyond that, and I added some milk to dilute it more. I was about to put the milk away when Matthew said,
"Could I have some more?"
Of course. I pushed the milk jug towards him.
"I like it when it tastes good," he added.

... Thanks, Matthew ;)

Change, adventures and Happy Feet

2007-12-19T17:01:00.000-05:00

1. Discovering that over the past four months at school I've become more of a country girl. City driving stresses me out!

2. Getting lost in a story for the first time since the summer.

3. Watching a movie with the little bro, again, for the first time since the summer.

A Morning Well Spent

2007-12-18T14:52:00.000-05:00

We have a room in our basement that greatly aspires to being a library. Unfortunately, it usually ends up just being a storage room. But it is the room where books from as far back as my parents' University days to books as recent as what I finished with last year end up. I signed up for a Children's Lit course for the upcoming term, and when I shared my reading list with my mom, she told me that she had many of those books from the Children's Lit course that she took in school. Books like Peter Pan and the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, etc. And so upon arriving home for the holidays, I spent this morning searching through our library/storage room for some of the books on my course list.

The other unfortunate thing is that I am an English geek (as has been established) and I spent most of my time looking through the shelves and gasping to myself, saying, "I had no idea we had that book!"

And so this is the hoard of treasure that I came away with:

Less than half, I would say, are for my courses next year, and the rest are all books that I have been intending to read, or forgot we had, or was super excited to discover we were in possession of. A morning well spent, I would say.

click on the picture for a larger size if you're interested in seeing which titles I came away with ;)

Our Backyards

2007-12-13T18:14:00.001-05:00

I think that our generation and the generations before us are having difficulty understanding each other. This is not a censure on either generation, nor is it saying that all of the members of one can't understand all of the members of the other. I think that there are many of my parents' generation that are actually in the same place that we are. The thing with our generation, though, is that our world has shrunk. Completely.

Looking at my parents' generation, there are many who are tech savvy (my folks included) and who are experiencing this same view of the world becoming a whole lot smaller, but I think for the majority, and especially for their parents' generation, or even those who are just ten years older than them, the world is just as big as it always was.

Looking at the kinds of hits I get on my blog, I can see this shrinking. I have people visiting from the U.K. on a regular basis, people from the States, people from Mexico, from China... a lot of the hits seem like random chance. Most of the hits aren't looking for my site at all. Maybe they're looking for "the meaning of the road less traveled" and because that's the title of my blog and I happen to talk about "meaning" in another post, my blog comes up. Regardless of this, can you imagine how incredible it is that someone from China can just stumble across my blog? If those of my parents' generation did anything like this at my age, it would be on a couple sheets of paper bound together and copied (maybe even just by hand) and given to a few friends or family members. There is no possible way anyone from a different town much less a different continent could happen upon it. Maybe it could be sent elsewhere, but to be accidentally found? Virtually impossible. But for my generation, stumbling across things has become a part of speech. "I stumbled across this online last night". How often have we said something to that effect? Imagine.

In my parents' generation, if they were to manage to make it overseas for a time, perhaps take off on a European tour, they would likely make some very good friends (just as we can), but upon arriving home, they might manage to keep in touch for a little while by letters, but I think eventually that would fade. And it would be difficult to maintain the same level of involvement in another's life simply through letter writing. In our generation, we can write emails and keep in daily contact. I have two friends who are in relationships with people overseas because of this ability. And that we can Skype others is an incredible event. Videophones were a thing of science fiction in my parents' generation, but now we have it. It's a natural event. It's a verb (to "skype" someone).

When I was in grade seven, I moved towns. As I was leaving, I was collecting friends' addresses so that we could stay in touch. One friend gave me his email address and the idea was so completely random to me. I figured then that I would never keep in contact with him because the idea of email was so foreign to me. I unfortunately didn't end up keeping in touch with anyone. Now, however, I have all of my friends' email addresses, and actually manage to keep in relatively good contact with them when we part.

When it comes to travel, we have virtually the same amount of options. We can go on academic exchanges, work programs, volunteer programs, adventure trips, summer holidays, spring break trips, etc. Plane tickets to Europe, for example, are affordable and there are so many opportunities.

For our parents' generation, the problems that they had to take care of were in their backyard. Their family, their neighbours, their school, their church.

For our generation, our backyards have become an awful lot bigger. I think this would explain a lot of our stress and the pressure we feel at younger and younger ages. I think it would also potentially explain a lot of our seeming lack of care. If we care about one thing, we feel like we have to care about everything. But we weren't built that way. We can't care about everything, so we feel like it's safer to not care about anything. But there is another option. We can care, but about that one or those few things that make us come alive. If we all care passionately about those things, then everything that needs care will be taken care of.

The scary thing is, we must decide to care. But the truth is, we must decide to care. What do we have to look forward to if we don't? We're the only ones who can change things. The amazing thing is that we actually have the power to do so. Are we willing to care enough?

many thanks to George Halitzka for his article that helped me put words to some of the ideas I've discussed here.

Unity-in-Disaster

2007-11-09T18:06:00.000-05:00

One small action and my hope for humanity is entirely restored.

Every now and then I look at society as a whole and wonder how it is that anything noble or good survives here. There seems to be such a me-first mentality in nearly everything we do, I wonder of we are all to spend our lives isolated, shoving others down so that we can raise ourselves up. But then something like this happens.

The power went out today. I'm not entirely sure how long it was for, but probably for easily an hour. Being in a University town, this meant that all of our usual methods of distraction were completely removed. We couldn't access our computers (unless they're laptops) and even then, we couldn't get on the internet. We couldn't watch television or a movie. We couldn't play video games. It was very freeing in a sense. We were standing in the hallway where the emergency lights were glowing, trying to figure out how to spend this time where we couldn't do any work (and where our normal distractions weren't available to us), and a small group of us decided to walk to Michaels to pick up some craft supplies to pass the time with.

In order to get to the Michaels, we have to cross a rather busy intersection, two lanes in each direction, plus the right and left turn lanes. I was expecting chaos, but as we approached, it was a relatively orderly and organized system of movement. Traffic cops hadn't arrived, and the lights were clearly out, but one direction of traffic was moving. And then the direction to the right edged forward with a few tentative honks and then it began moving. And again, and again, around the intersection. It was so... so organized and so calm. I have never seen such spontaneous order in such a large and varied group of people. What you have to keep in mind is that this wasn't a group of people that tried and tried again until the practice of it meant they got it right. Every turn happened with a different set of people and yet the same order was maintained. I was amazed at the cooperation and patience of everyone at that intersection (cars were lined up almost to the next one), and the communication that occurred even though there was no talking.

I was very impressed.

But it begs another question. Why are we only united like this in "disaster", when we have to be? I think it would be worth it to apply this unity-in-disaster mode of thinking to our everyday lives. What a change that would be.

New Look

2007-11-06T11:46:00.002-05:00

I clicked onto this blog today and decided that the template was a little tired. So I'm experimenting.

How do I look in green? ;)

Re: Forgiven

2007-10-31T21:35:00.000-04:00

A friend wrote me an email a little while back in response to my last post. He posed some questions that got me thinking. For example, what if you do hold a grudge? What if you can't shake the pain or hurt? Have you forgiven them, or is it only when those feelings go away that you have?

I don't have all the answers, but I do have some ideas.

I flipped open my dictionary to get at the actual definition of the word "forgive". One of the listed definitions deals with the emotions and says that to forgive is to cease to feel resentment against another. I think that is ultimately what we strive towards: acquitting a person of even our feelings of resentment. But my friend raises an excellent point. What do you do in the meantime? Feelings, after all, don't just vanish. This is where the other definitions come in.

"to be willing or able to forgive"

"to give up resentment of or claim to requital for [an offense]"

"to grant relief from payment"

These definitions deal with the will. To be willing to forgive, to give up resentment, to grant relief from payment. The first definition says to be willing or able. But through God, we're able to do anything. Our own abilities can never measure up, but where we are weak and struggle with forgiveness, God gives us that ability. And so we need to enlist our will and choose to grant forgiveness. Obviously it isn't an easy step. The second definition says "to give up resentment", but this I cannot imagine being a one-step thing. It is a process. A daily... sometimes by minute exercise. It is a choice, choosing to give up any claims we have to resentment or repayment. I think that forgiveness is setting someone free without requiring anything of them. That is where the difficulty lies. When we are hurt, we want justice. We want vengeance. The New King James translation of Romans 12:19 reads, "Beloved, do not avenge yourselves...'Vengeance is mine, I will repay,' says the Lord." We want to hold onto this claim of indebtedness. They owe us. They hurt us, so they ought to do something to make it up. But I think forgiveness entails us giving up that right. It is a right, the Bible says, that isn't ours to begin with, and I think it's damaging, if we hold onto it. And this ties in with the final definition, the one that I think is the most miraculous. Forgiveness is an act where you grant relief from payment. They owe you... but you stop requiring them to pay. I wrote that I rarely hold a grudge, but I have been hurt. Everyone has been. And so there have been times where I have held a grudge. And I would punish that person, refusing to talk to them, refusing to acknowledge their comments. Refusing to enter into anything beyond the most stiff and impersonal of inquiries. How dare I. It isn't my place to require them to do anything to make up for their offense. Yes, they offended. Yes, as far as justice is concerned, they ought to repay their offense.

But...

We cannot forget about the cross. It was here that God did the ultimate in forgiveness. Through Jesus Christ, He granted us relief from payment. Because of that, we owe Him nothing. And neither does anyone around us owe us anything. Even if they hurt us. In the same way we were forgiven, we are to forgive them. I don't deny it's difficult. It is. Especially when the hurt is deep. But that is what we are to do.

Matthew 18:15-35
Luke 6:37
Luke 17:3-4

It's a struggle. It is. But we can call on the Lord to help us

Luke 17:5-6
Mark 9:24

Forgiven

2007-10-22T23:39:00.000-04:00

A friend asked me to forgive her tonight. My response: “Oh, why?” This got me thinking. I forgave her, naturally, but my question is, would my response have been any different based on what the offense was? Even if it had been truly horrific, would I have withheld my forgiveness?
I think that, as people redeemed through Christ, we have been covered over by his blood, forgiven because he has spoken for us. No matter what we’ve done, we are forgiven. I wonder how this would look in our interactions with each other.
I’ve always held my forgiveness until the other person has explained why they are asking for it. Not for any reason. It is very rare that I’ve been nursing a grudge. I think it’s just how society has scripted our apologies. Someone says, “I’m sorry for doing thus-and-so to you,” and you say, “It’s okay, I forgive you.” But I wonder what it would be like if we offered our forgiveness first, without waiting for the other person to apologize and without waiting for an explanation. Wouldn’t that be radical?
“Hey, can you forgive me?”
“Yea, of course.”
And then you pause and ask them why.
Wait, what? You’re forgiving me before you know what I did? What if it’s something truly terrible, completely unforgivable?
“Doesn’t matter,” you can say. “I forgive you anyway.”
“Why?”
“Cause that’s what God does, and I’m striving to be like Him.”
Wouldn’t that be incredible?
It’s an imagined conversation, of course, but I think the concept is worth thinking about.
The Bible says that we ought to “[forgive] each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32).
I think we need to start trying to live that out.

Re: Dear Society

2007-09-25T20:02:00.000-04:00

I was talking with one of my male friends about this post, and he was expressing some mild offense at the idea that men are only interested in looks. My contrition was immediate and sincere. Seeing that there was some misunderstanding from a friend, I realized that misunderstanding would likely be present from people I don't know, so I decided that I should clarify where I was coming from.

So, to my male readers (and anyone else who was offended by my post):

I am sorry. The idea that men are only attracted by looks truly wasn't what I was driving at... What I meant was that women (in general, not true in all cases) have been told (the lie) that men (in general, not true in lots of cases) are only attracted by looks, and that, as such, women (often) are only seeking to draw the eyes of men, rather than their emotions. I was trying to say that society is telling men and women that the heart isn't worth it, when it actually really is. I admit, I geared it more towards women, because this was coming out of reading about eating disorders in twelve-year-old girls. But I don't think it is true. Men have far more depth (of feeling, thought, insight, character, integrity) than society is willing to give them credit for.

Verse(s) of the Day

2007-09-18T18:22:00.001-04:00

These verses have been on my heart. I sent one to a friend, but I also want to post them here.

"But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin's deceitfulness."
~Hebrews 3:13

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others."
~Philippians 2:3-4

"Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another"
~Romans 13:8

Words of Wisdom

2007-09-17T15:57:00.000-04:00

My professor for Victorian Poetry is very wise. One of the delights of being in this class is that it feels like we have been invited to sit with him in his living room as he passes on his knowledge and wisdom about life and, of course, the poems we are studying. But the wonderful thing about his teaching method is that he always manages to relate the poems to life. They aren't just static bits of verse, they are reflections of life and of love, and when our professor speaks of them, it is clear that it comes from a lot of meditation on these poems and how they relate to what actually happens in life.

I took a class with him in first year, so I knew what to expect, but I think I was immature enough then to not get as much from the class as I could have. I can't say that I am a mature adult now, therefore I can grasp and appreciate all he has to say, but I can say that I am a lot more mature now than I was then.

So he usually has a lot of things to share with us (meaning we usually don't get through everything he had hoped to in a class), and every now and again, I pick up on a "sound byte" that he has to share. This is today's:

Evil cannot exist on its own. By definition, it is a perversion of good.

Think about that. I think that everything we have that we would define as evil was originally something good that has been misinterpreted or twisted or in some way or other perverted from how it used to be. But that's interesting to think about as well: good has the power to exist on its own, a power that evil does not have.

I am really enjoying that class.

Dear Society,

2007-09-12T15:58:00.000-04:00

What are you DOING?!

Eating disorders among children

Again and again and again, we are telling children (especially girls) with our words that they are worth it, that they are valuable, that they can do anything they want, that they are beautiful as they are. But again and again and again, we are telling them with our actions that they are not. As they say, actions speak louder than words. How are the young women in our society to live when they are led to believe they are not worth it? This is how we are telling them this. Parents are not in the home as much as they used to be due to financial strains (the need to work more in order to afford what is needed), therefore young girls are not treasured. Parents come home stressed and tired, and don't have the energy to pour into these girls what they need: love and cherishing. This could be anything from spending time with the child, doing something she loves, listening to the child talk about her ideas and feelings, giving the child hugs or cuddling, and even taking the time to look the child in her eyes and tell her that she is loved and that she is beautiful.

I have no doubt that the children in many of these instances are loved and loved dearly. And I have no doubt that society is making a conscious effort to promote a healthy body image.

Yet,

Society is not finished telling us what we need. Society is not finished telling us that what we have is not good enough, and that we need something more. Why are we so driven by this obsession to possess?

Part of the problem is the little value we place on men in society. Boys, with their rambunctious energy, and non-traditional enthusiasm about learning, are considered nuisances in classrooms. While there are many boys who truly do suffer from ADD and ADHD, there are many who don't, and yet are diagnosed as such. My youngest brother, for example, would probably be considered as having at least a slight case of ADD, for in the classroom, he doesn't always finish his work, he is constantly talking, and often has trouble keeping his seat. And yet I watch him attack a project at home with little difficulty when it comes to paying attention. This child can play an entire game of Monopoly without his attention wavering. Is this the sign of a child with ADD? Considering the amount of time and concentration that needs to go into that game, no; this is the contrast between a young man participating in something he cares about, versus something he sees little value in at this stage in his life. How is he to look at a page of mathematics exercises and see value in them, when his friend is sitting just next to him? There is more value for these boys in playing than there is in sitting at a desk doing busy work.

I have no doubt that the education system is a very valuable system and without it, we would be lacking many of the great men and women of our day. However, we are doing a disservice to the young men in the system. We are expecting boys to learn the same way girls do, when in fact, boys learn very differently.

Society is also doing a disservice to both men and women when we are telling women that they shouldn't sit and wait for a guy to choose them, they should go out after the guy they want. Why is this a disservice? Let me draw a picture of how women hunt, versus the way men do.

When a man is seeking after a woman, his goal is to display the very best of who he is. He takes the time to care for his appearance (not necessarily preening, but not simply throwing on pants and a shirt and bolting out the door), he asks the woman he is interested in questions about her life and her thoughts, he takes care of the woman (ensuring she feels safe, ensuring she is enjoying herself, etc), and he takes the time to engage her in many ways and on many levels. This is a picture of a man who is in love, pursuing the woman of his affections and seeking to win her heart.

A woman hunts with her body. A man's heart is such a mystery to us, primarily because society has told us that he has none, or if he does, it is not worth caring for or taking into consideration. As such, we as women have no idea how to pursue it. But we know how to attract his eyes; we know how to invite his touch. And since this is an expression of love, we often take it to be love, even though it is a cheap, often transparent imitation of it. And so women learn that in order to win the man they want, they must dress in ways to draw his eyes, and they must shape their body to be one that he wants to possess. But this is never named or identified in society. How dare we suggest that this is what is going on. But it is. As a young woman on a university campus, this is exactly what is going on. Merely looking at the fashion trends on campus or the bar scene or even the social circles on campus, this is exactly what is going on. The problem is, society has not identified the value that there is in the human heart. In our society, the heart has no value; the heart is not worthy to be pursued or kept safe. As such, we are caught in this bizarre dance of hiding and burying it, especially in those instances where it would be most healing and worthwhile to share it, and then conversely of offering and sharing and essentially prostituting it in those instances where we ought to be keeping it safe. And so we allow our hearts to be damaged and then keep them from that which they need most in order to heal.

Society, what are you doing?

Whoever you are reading this, it doesn't matter where you're coming from, God loves you, and so this statement holds true for you: You are worth it. You are valuable. You are loved. Your heart is a treasure worth protecting. May we all learn to live out this principle with our own hearts, and even more so with the hearts of those around us.

Best friends?

2007-09-10T17:19:00.000-04:00

Shocker--

http://www.cbc.ca/technology/story/2007/09/10/science-websites.html?ref=rss

Stumbled Upon

2007-09-02T17:34:00.000-04:00

I stumbled across this poem today. I think it is beautiful.

Our Father knows what's best for us, so why should we complain?
We always want the sunshine, but he knows there must be rain.
We love the sound of laughter and the merriment of cheer,
But our hearts would lose their tenderness if we never shed a tear.
For growing trees are strengthened when they withstand the storm,
And the sharp cut of the chisel gives the diamond grace and form.
God never hurts us needlessly, and he never wastes our pain,
For every loss he sends to us is followed by rich gain.
And when we count the blessings that God so freely sent,
We'll find no cause for murmuring, and no time to lament.
For our Father loves his children, and to him all things are plain,
So he never sends us pleasure when the soul's deep need is pain.
So whenever we are troubled, and when everything goes wrong,
We know God's working in our hearts, to make our spirit strong.

by Amy Carmichael

Tithing

2007-07-28T22:04:00.000-04:00

So I stumbled across an article today entitled, "Tithing" (giving 10% of your income to God) "is Un-Scriptural". Well that is completely the opposite of what I've been taught in Church. The basic points the author had were laid out as follows: many Biblical figures didn't tithe; only Levite priests, which we don't have, are allowed to collect tithes; money was never a tithable commodity. Because of these points, tithing, therefore, is un-Scriptural. I won't go into why these points are, at best, half-truths. I will go into the second last point, the one that surprised me most: "Christian converts were never asked to tithe anything to the Church." Interesting. I had never thought of that. Well, I guess the author is correct. They didn't really do that, did they? They did this instead:

All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.
Acts 2:44-45

All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had... There were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles' feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.
Acts 4:32, 34-35

So, if we are to follow the logic of the above argument, then there should be no such thing as personal income or personal possessions. By that argument, we should sell our houses and everything in them, write a big check of all our earnings and lay it at our pastor's feet. By this argument, the author is correct: tithing is un-Scriptural, but not because it is too much; because it is not enough.

Let me pull the discussion away from tithing.

What was it that struck the world about the early Church (the first Christian converts)?

It was that those belonging to it were so different. Sure, they lived in the world, often carrying on their businesses and day-to-day lives. They still came to the marketplace to secure something they needed, or to sell off some of their goods. Joseph over there would still sit and tell jokes with his buddy Andronicus. But the joking was different than before. He pretty much steered clear of the crude jokes he used to prefer. And every now and again, one of the converts would come to the marketplace with an entire cart loaded down with possessions. By the end of the day, even the cart would be sold (along with the deed to his property). Then he would walk into one of the apostles' houses carrying the bags of money... and come back out without them. Even that swindler, Zacchaeus behaved differently. Suddenly, he's refunding money, left, right and center, desperate to pay back all he stole plus interest! When asked about his sudden honesty, he'd start talking about this Rabbi he met named Jesus.

And I think that is what we are called to as Christians. We are supposed to be in the world, but not of the world. We are supposed to be in the world... but different. And when people start asking us why, we start talking about this great Teacher we met named Jesus Christ, God's Son. I have no idea how "different" would look. I'm sure no one from the time of the early Church could have said so either. I'm sure they wouldn't have been able to put their finger on the one specific thing that made these people different... except the common answer of "Jesus Christ" to their questions of "why?" We're all unique human beings, so our different is going to differ completely from someone else's different. But our common answer will always be "Jesus Christ." And then, perhaps, the world can finally find Who it is they are looking for.

Midnight Reflections

2007-07-23T00:42:00.000-04:00

Untitled (from February 2007)

What do you do on nights when there is no moon? The rain plats on the window pane, puddles collect at your feet. What do you do on days when the stars are not enough to guide your way home? The sky clear as velvet, diamonds scattered across, as though spilled from a jar on the counter. What do you do? Bits of gauze cloud stretched through the sky in snatches; what do you do?
Wait for the morning, though the night is cold and long. Though the last stretch of sunrise comes near the end of infinity. Yet still you wait for the morning, through the ever-crystal, clear blackness of night.
On the nights when there is no moon, still yet wait. Hope. Trust in the Morning.

Aloha Oe

2007-07-10T12:53:00.000-04:00

(from last December '06 ~ saying goodbye to friends)

Aloha `oe, aloha `oe
E ke onaona noho i ka lipo
One fond embrace,
A ho`i a`e au
Until we meet again

Dare to Dream

2007-07-06T22:18:00.000-04:00

(from April 2007)

We are a generation that has been taught not to hope. I don't know why. But I have had discussions with so many people and we have all given various forms of the answer "I don't know," "I haven't figured that out yet," or, "we'll see" to the question "what do you want to do with your life?" It didn't really strike me until I was part of a couple of other discussions. In the first, someone asked "what do you want to do with your life?" The other said, "I don't know." The first asked, "Is it that you don't know or that you just--" And the second interrupted as he caught the drift of the question, saying, "Yea, I don't want to say it in case it doesn't happen." They both agreed in half-sentences that it was better to "not get your hopes up." In another conversation, it was a larger group and we all agreed that we didn't know what we wanted to do. But then one girl turned to another and said, "Yes, you do. You know." The girl protested saying she didn't know, and the first girl said again, "I think that you do know. I think that you have a way that you picture yourself in the future." The girl eventually confessed that she did, but that the path to get there was a scary one.

I've realized that in our heart of hearts, we all know what we want to do with our lives. But we don't want to admit it to anyone... in some cases, we don't even want to admit it to ourselves, because what if it doesn't happen? I think it's at the point where our dreams are so precious to us that, to speak them aloud makes them vulnerable, makes us vulnerable.

I'm not immune to this. Several weeks ago, I was talking with a friend. We were just talking about life in general, what we were thinking of doing after we graduated. He asked me what I really wanted to do and I said that I wasn't sure. He pushed a little bit, asking how I saw myself in 5 or 10 years. I couldn't keep up the "I don't know" response, because I did know. But I ended the discussion.

It's hard to admit what is in your heart. It's hard to speak out loud what is most dear to you. I think it's hard because if we don't say it, we can pretend that it doesn't exist. I think that we've taught ourselves to believe that if we hide what we want, if it doesn't happen, somehow we'll be happier. I don't think that's true. I think that having these dreams inside of us that we ignore, killing any bit of hope in ourselves to avoid future disappointment is slowly killing us.

The interesting thing about secrets is that they lose their power when spoken. Naturally, this only applies when it is the owner of the secrets that speaks them out. I'm not exactly sure why this is. In speaking a secret, it comes out of the dark recesses of the mind into the light. When spoken aloud, we see the secret for what it truly is. It definitely comes down to God, and somehow He uses our "confession" to others to do things in us that don't come when we merely confess to ourselves. I think in some way, He uses our vulnerability to make us stronger. In some way, when we humble ourselves enough, open ourselves up enough to bring to light a secret, He uses that to bring healing. Again, I'm not sure why.

I think that it is wise to hold our dreams in a loose grip, to hold them in an open hand. Sometimes the dreams that we have are not the way God intends for us to go. In that instance, He takes them away. He always brings something else along, something that, in hindsight, proves to be the better option; but if we are holding on to our dreams too tightly, if God takes them away, it really hurts.

I think that, as human beings, we need hope. We need dreams. We need to hope and to dream. We need to do so wisely, but to not hope or dream at all is to kill part of the essence of who we are. God gives us the ability to dream and to hope for a reason. Dare to dream. Don't let dreams become idols, but dare to dream.

Live Earth... no, 8... no, wait... Earth?

2007-07-06T22:16:00.000-04:00

Does this sound familiar to anyone?

Sorta like this little phenomenon that happened last summer?

I'm having difficulty accepting this movement because of how quickly the passion for the first one fizzled out. Everyone attended and had a fabulous time, but now everyone's forgotten about this desire to end poverty. Possibly we all got into it and realized that it is a job that is a lot bigger than one day of concerts. It's something that will take longer than a year to fix. Something that requires a lot of financial sacrifice on our part.

The nice thing about "saving our environment" is that all that we have to do is walk more (drive less), and change a couple of lightbulbs. And really, there is no financial sacrifice at all. I mean, we're spending less on gas. And the efficient lightbulbs save us a bundle on our electricity bill. Same thing happens when we move the thermostat down (or up) a couple of degrees (depending on the season). And this, we are promised, will make a huge difference in a small amount of time. But if it does work, what then? Will we move on to other things, such as the number of children that die of preventable causes (malnutrition, treatable illnesses) each day? Or finding some way to house people who are living on the streets or in substandard housing? Or feeding all of the people that go hungry all the time? Or even just loving those people all around us who need love?

My fear is that we will become so satisfied with ourselves that, should this succeed, we won't feel the need to effect change elsewhere in our world, or that our efforts will focus even more exclusively on our environment. Should we fail, what will happen then? Will we forget and move onto the next charity concert Summer '08? Or will we redouble our efforts? We are putting our hope in something that cannot possibly deliver what we want it to. What happens if it fails? Or worse, what happens if it succeeds and we still feel as empty as we did before?

We've put our God-hope in something that can't possibly deliver the God-salvation we need.

It worries me.

Quote

2007-07-05T13:06:00.000-04:00

(from December 2006, from a friend)

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.
~Marianne Williamson

Acknowledgment

2007-07-04T13:55:00.000-04:00

A little acknowledgment goes a long way.

This happened to me several years ago, but it has always stuck out in my mind as an example why consideration for others and acknowledgment of another's perspective in a situation go a very long way.

It was a simple situation, really. I went to stand in line at a take-out restaurant, and so joined what I thought was the back of the line. Suddenly, I noticed two girls standing behind me, primarily because I heard them talking about me. I didn't hear any actual sentences, but key words and phrases such as "cut in line" and "so rude" sort of jumped out at me. So, I did what I knew to be the only polite thing in to do in the situation. I turned and said with what politeness and humility I had, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't see you. Were you in line?" It was remarkable the effect. The ice that had laced its way between us melted in an instant, and their disgusted opinion of me changed to one of complete politeness, and even friendliness. "Oh, no, that's fine," they said and gestured that I should remain where I was. We smiled at each other, and that was that.

I have always been amazed at the effect that my little bit of acknowledgement had on their opinion of me, and their view of the situation. I acknowledged that I did wrong, apologized for the fault and offered them reconciliation. Those are the basic principles of asking forgiveness, and in having the humility to do so, it allows people the opportunity to give that forgiveness. Applying this to more hurtful wrongs, it also allows the other to begin the process of healing within themselves, and is an indication that you are finding healing and attempting to make amends within yourself.

I wish I could say that my reaction to situations is always like that, but sometimes it feels easier to just ignore a situation, and to hope that it will go away by itself. It doesn't. And it doesn't get better either. It actually tends to just get worse. But it is something I'm working on. When I realize that I am in the wrong, I try to go to the person and apologize as soon as I can, even if they probably won't think it's a big deal. Things that aren't as significant, I think, are good practice for those things that take painful humiliation (used in the sense of humility, not embarrassment...) to make amends for. And though humiliation does require some bit of embarrassment, it is definitely worth it. I choose painful humiliation over stubborn pride in my good moments. I do my best to make my actions live up to my words, even in my worst moments. Your best help is not yourself. Your best help is El Shaddai, God Almighty. Ask and He will provide. Just be careful that in asking, this is what you really want, because He will provide it, and it is often a difficult process.

Courage

2007-07-03T11:35:00.000-04:00

(from April 2006)

Although my ideal is to live a life of adventure and striking my own path, I find that I lack the courage to do so. Am I living my own life or am I living the life that is expected of me? It is so much easier to take the path that everyone expects from you than to take your own path. At least I find that in my own life. I can go my own way for miles and miles, but as soon as I get opposition or someone asking me about my path choice or suggesting that maybe I'm on the wrong course, I have to work extra hard to stay on route.

I think I'm afraid to make mistakes.

It's funny where you can glean life lessons from. I've recently become... how shall we say... overly preoccupied? with Sudoku puzzles. I actually vowed (I really have to stop making definite declarative statements; I always end up having to eat my words) I vowed I would never become obsessed with them, and I even resisted trying one because of the craze that was running rampant through the lives of... well... just about everyone. But I eventually caved, and what do you know, I was hooked. Now, I tried a few "gentle" or "easy" ones, but eventually came across one labelled "tough". And promptly became stumped. But I learned something that game. I took a risk. Not a big one, not a life-shattering one, obviously, but one that was enough to get me thinking. I made a guess and filled out the puzzle according to that guess, marking the steps I had taken after the guess. As it turns out, my guess was the wrong one, so I erased all of the ones I had marked and tried again, this time with my second guess. The second one proved fruitful and I completed the puzzle correctly. But I learned something very valuable that day:

It's okay to make mistakes.

Wow, world-rocker there [sarcasm], but you'd be surprised by how difficult it is to let yourself make mistakes. Everyone knows intellectually that it's okay to make mistakes and that everyone makes mistakes and you need to make mistakes so that you can learn from them, but I think few of us actually embrace those allowances. We consider ourselves failures if we make mistakes, and we come to fear failure to the point where we never try something new because... what if we fail? But the thing is, failing is okay. I mean, that's not a license to slack off or do nothing, but if you try something and it doesn't work, that's okay. It isn't the end of the world. That is a cliché, but it is true. As with my puzzle, if my guess had failed and there was no way of correcting it, so what? It's a sudoku puzzle. If you apply for a promotion at work and don't get it, so what? You apply for a scholarship and don't get it, so what? Don't misunderstand me. Yes, it's disappointing, yes, it can hurt... but you aren't any worse off. It's fabulous that you tried and that you took the risk. Had you gotten it (solved the puzzle, received the promotion or scholarship, etc.) that would have been wonderful. But if you didn't, where are you? You are exactly where you started. You haven't stepped back. Failure in one area does not automatically mean failure for every other area of your life. All it means is that you didn't get this one thing.

So let me repeat: disappointment sucks, but trying for something and not getting it doesn't hurt your position at all. Going for something and getting it gives you an opportunity to grow. Going for something and not getting it... also gives you an opportunity to grow. And eventually, if you want to keep growing and learning, you will run into something that you can't accomplish on the first try. And this is the second part of my lesson:

Don't give up!

When you take the risk and try for something, there is the possibility of failure. But there is also the possibility for great success, so don't give up! As with my puzzle, when you make a mistake, when you don't succeed, look back at the steps you took and figure out which one led you amiss. Perhaps you made a wrong guess. Perhaps you're missing a qualification for the scholarship, perhaps you need some more experience before you get the promotion. Perhaps (and this is a scary one to accept), perhaps there was just someone better suited for what you want than you are. This is scary because it means we have to stop thinking about ourselves as "the best".

I guess this is another part of it. Taking risks means we have to be willing to be humbled. We have to cast off our pride and take the risk. If we aren't willing to be humiliated, we can never be willing to be humbled. And if we aren't willing to be humbled, we will never find ourselves reaping the benefits of taking a God-led risk.

But when we are willing, the rewards can be incredible. It is such a wonderful feeling taking a risk and, if it is rewarded, getting the benefits. It is also wonderful being rejected and (don't start laughing! Follow me to the end of the sentence!) and learning how to get back up and try again. If it is something that you really want, and God is leading you there, no matter how many times you fall, pick yourself up, brush yourself off and try again. Not only is it wonderful getting something after the first try, it is wonderful getting something after fighting for it.

The final part of my lesson, which again, I knew before, but it bears repeating, is knowing when to let go. Sometimes you want something and take the risk and fight for it, but you still don't get what you want. Even if you feel God told you to fight for it, you still don't get it. What is that all about? Well, I don't know what God's ultimate purposes are, but from my own experience, God has used those circumstances to teach me how to fight, and then how to surrender. It is an interesting dance. God wants us to have what we want (ie, what He wants for us), but He wants us to want Him more than anything else. He teaches us how to fight and how to zealously pursue our passions, but He also uses circumstances where we don't get what we want to teach us to surrender all to Him. He uses those circumstances to teach us how to let go when He asks us to. We usually don't know why He is asking us to let something go, but it is always for the better. Even if it doesn't feel like it at the time, there is always something better in store for us. Either a better position, a better way of earning money, a better use of time (like doing homework instead of playing Sudoku) or even... even a better relationship with God, for God is most pleased when He is our top priority. When we are willing to give up the thing we want to our Father in Heaven, that sacrifice brings Him great joy and glory. And that, after all, is what we are here for.

Hope in Christ

2007-06-30T21:43:00.000-04:00

"But those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary;
they will walk and not be faint."
~Isaiah 40:31

In Christ Alone - "Environmentalism" comment reponse

2007-06-30T21:00:00.001-04:00

Funny... Lately, I find myself having far too much to say for the comments sections. ;)

Jasmine left me this really great comment here.

This is a very interesting post, Tara! In some ways I think you are right, in that it has become very "in" to be environmentaly friendly, it has become a trend, an obsession, an overwhelming focus. This is a good thing because it raises awareness, and a bad thing because that means, like all trends, it will pass when the fad is over, and it's easy to take to extremes.

I have to point out though- your argument that our focus, as a culture, should not be on the environment itself is valid. But we, as a culture *are* secular- the arguement is only valid to those who are already Christian. Usually that is clear from your posts, but for some reason here it seemed as though you were indicating that all of secular culture should regard the world from a Christian viewpoint.

Also, you say that we should be putting our faith in God Himself, and not the environment. But if God created this magnificent earth for us to live on, and did so with a precision and glory and beauty that is unsurpassed- why should we not have faith in God's creation?

To speak of nature or the environment as something to have faith in is not the same as putting faith in a human being. A human being is flawed, has free will, and may err. But the natural world does not have free will according to the Bible, it does not have a choice to be other than what it is. God created it, and it was good.

I suppose I am asking why you consider it a bad thing to put faith and trust and belief in this aspect of God's creation? Isn't glorifying the things that God has made a way of glorifying God? Particularly when they can't choose to be different than he has made them? And God created the world, yes, but...didn't he give it to us? So doesn't that indicate that we are now responsible for it?

This is my response:

I am always so glad for your comments, Jasmine! I’ll try to answer your points in some sort of order (no guarantees).

First of all, thank you for reminding me that I’m not writing to a solely Christian audience. There are many people who stumble across my blog who don’t hold the same viewpoint that I do. And I do understand, completely, that our society is a secular society (thus why I am not surprised that we [society] have found ourselves a little ‘god’ to worship. I am only surprised that it has taken so long for one so obvious to emerge). But here’s the thing. I do think that all of society ought to worship the true and living God alone. That is, the God of the Bible, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob, the God who loved us so much that he sent and allowed his only Son, Jesus Christ, to come and die for us. I do think there is something very wrong with putting anything in that place of importance other than God. Even though I understand that most people in this society are not coming from this viewpoint, it doesn’t change my viewpoint. And I don’t think that I could have, in good conscience, written this post in any other way. The only One that should receive worship is the Trinity, God (Father, Son and Holy Spirit*). This is something that I believe throughout the whole of my being. It is also something that isn’t limited strictly to Christians. Let’s say, for example, that you live in Hawai’i. All you have ever known is those islands. You’ve never been anywhere else, you’ve never really seen pictures or videos of anywhere else. Sometimes you hear stories of other places, but for the most part, you only know those islands. It might even get to the point where you decided that you don’t believe there really is anywhere else. There are the islands and water, and that’s it. Does that change the fact that the rest of the world exists? It’s the same in this instance. Because someone chooses to believe that God doesn’t exist (or that he exists in a vastly different form than how the Bible reveals him) doesn’t change what the truth is. The Bible is how God has chosen to reveal himself to us, and in the Bible, it says there is not other God and that, therefore, we oughtn’t to worship anything other than God. I understand that this isn’t an accommodating or popular view, and I’m sorry that it isn't (accommodating), but I must express it because it is true.

You raise the point that human beings are flawed (thus why we oughtn’t to put our faith in them). God did create nature, and it was good, but it, too, fell when we humans did. Not in the same way, certainly. You’re right that nature has no choice but to be what it is. That is why so many people describe nature as being peaceful, and so many Christians find that it draws them closer to God. It is one of his fingerprints that he’s left on the earth. He’s also left his fingerprints on humans. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control… Galatians 5:22-23 describes these as being the “fruit of the Spirit”, evidence of God working in our lives. Anytime you see these qualities, they are God’s fingerprint on that person. Even though we’ve fallen, and have the tendency to put ourselves first and to choose what we want over what God does, there are still parts of us that are evidence of God’s workmanship. Returning to nature and how it fell, there are parts of it that I would describe as not being how God originally intended for things to be. I do believe that God intended nature to be different from how we know it today. In Isaiah 65, verses 17-25, God describes what the new heavens and new earth will look like. That is, how things will look when the old and sinful have passed away, and when he replaces things with his perfection (1 Corinthians 13:8-10). He describes how “the wolf and the lamb will feed together, and the lion will eat straw like the ox” (Isaiah 65:25). “They will neither harm nor destroy on all my holy mountain.” This is how I think God intended the earth to be. Because of this, nature itself is flawed, just as we are (though it is flawed differently).

But even if it wasn’t flawed, I would still say that it would be wrong to put one’s faith in nature as opposed to in God. Looking to God to save us from our sins (and anything else that separates us from him) is what he intended and what he wants from us. Looking to his creation for that salvation is a mistake. Even if nature was perfect, it is still a creation and putting one’s trust in a creation over the Creator isn’t the way to go. It would be like asking the pot to get you out of trouble when the potter is right beside you with his hand extended to help you.

To answer your questions, I think that partaking in and enjoying the things God has created and acknowledging that he is the Creator is a way of glorifying him. But glorifying the things (using “glorify” as another word for “praise” or “worship”) doesn’t glorify God. As a point of comparison, God created angels. I think we would tend to class angels in the better-than-us-but-less-than-God category, yet we still oughtn’t to glorify or worship them. Anytime an angel appears in the Bible, the human they appear to is struck by the glory surrounding them, and falls to the ground before them, but the angel always insists that they don’t be afraid and that they stand. Falling facedown is a form of worship, and the angels won’t allow it. Even though they are radiant and reflect the glory of God, they refuse to receive any glory themselves, and instead, direct it all to God.

Another one of the reasons that I directed this specifically to a Christian audience is that it isn’t secular society alone that is praising nature. Christians are starting to move in that direction, not looking at the earth as a gift to protect, but as an entity in and of itself, higher and greater, and something almost eternal or ethereal. God is the only one worthy of our praise.

*for those not familiar with Christian theology, my apologies. The Bible teaches that there is only one God, the God I have identified above, and that there are three parts to who he is: God the Father, God the Son (Jesus Christ), and God the Holy Spirit. One way of describing this is to compare it to water. Water comes in three distinct forms, gas, liquid and solid (ice), yet it is all still water. It has different characteristics and operates in different ways, yet you would never deny that it was water.

I would just like to end off with one of Jasmine's phrases from her comment. Her turn of phrase is worth repeating.

"God created this magnificent earth for us to live on, and did so with a precision and glory and beauty that is unsurpassed."

Amen to that.

Temptation - "Fight or Flight?" comment response

2007-06-29T20:42:00.000-04:00

In my last post on temptation, Fight or Flight?, a friend of mine (Baver) left a comment with some really good points in it. I started writing a responding comment, and then realized that it was probably long enough that I should make a post for it. This is his comment:

There's a number of other approaches to dealing with temptation, specifically when most of the temptation comes from thoughts which are significantly more difficult to flee than say a tub of funky chunky chocolate ice cream. One of these approaches is the "you have been bought at a price" (1 Cor. 6:2) mentality. If you have given your life to Christ, Yahweh has bought you; you are no longer your own. You, your possessions, AND your thoughts. Why then are you thinking things that are evil/sinful? Those thoughts do not belong to you anymore, so when you encounter a temptating thought, the idea is to discard it right away, to shove it out of your mind (which I'll admit is not easy, and takes a great amount of effort).

One of the other approaches, which is similar to the above is the "glorify God in everything you do" approach which I like to expand to everything you think. We're here to glorify God. That should be one of our primary goals in life, that no matter what we are doing, or thinking, we are glorifying God. Since thoughts that lead us into temptation don't glorify God, we need to avoid thinking them. Again, easier said than done. But if we focus on glorifying God in our thoughts, it helps keep the tempting ones out.

original post and full comment here

I think those are some really good points. The battle with temptation is one that is often primarily fought in our own minds. Bouncing your thoughts away from things that don't glorify God onto things that do is an action that is definitely worth the effort. We are bought at a price. A very high price. Being cavalier about where our thoughts go is not the way to be living.

There are a couple of things that have helped me in those instances. I don't have these down completely, but they are things that have helped me at one point or another. The first is Scripture memorization. Finding a couple of verses that either talk specifically about the thing you struggle with, or something a little more general (ie, Philippians 4:8, "whatever is noble, whatever is pure, etc... think about such things") and committing them to memory really helps. Not just I-have-the-gist-of-it, but actual I-know-this-verse-completely. And I've experienced in my own life the help that this is. When I found myself facing a battle, I was able to draw on the verse as easily as drawing breath, because in dwelling on it, I had made it a part of myself. It's amazing how God works through those situations.

Another thing I have found helpful is something that I've been learning only just recently, and that is actual physical removal. There are times when my mind will start wandering off to what-if's and if-only's and more often that not, the wandering is near a door that God has closed, and in the wandering, I let my fingers play with the handle and jiggle at it a little bit, sometimes even trying the door to see if God's locked it. I'll realize where my thoughts are going and pull back to think of something else, but then they'll slowly start moving in that direction again and again. As much as we are spiritual creatures, we are also physical creatures, and as much as our thoughts influence the way our body behaves (we are happy and so we smile), the way we behave also affects our thoughts (we smile and chemicals are released in the brain that cause us to feel happy). So if I'm sitting and realizing where my thoughts are going, the physical removal of myself (ie, getting up and going for a walk, doing jumping jacks, etc.) provides a change of scenery and a focused activity to direct my thoughts to, and so it helps me to rein in my thoughts.

If the temptation is a regular thing, I think that we need to deal with what is in our hearts that is opening the pathway for it. In other words, I don't think we should rely on these two things to be our "get out of jail free" card. I think that we need to surrender to Christ whatever it is that feeds that area of temptation (and to ask for his help, too, because oftentimes we aren't even completely sure as to what it is). The above are just a couple of ideas to help in that process, and also to help when something creeps up that is unexpected and/or unrelated.

This Week the Trend

2007-06-29T20:29:00.000-04:00

I was going back over some of my old posts, reading through them and reading through drafts I had saved, and I realized that there were some really good drafts that I never actually ended up posting. So for the next few weeks (or longer), I will be going back, polishing them up and posting them every couple of days or so. This is the reason why some things may seem unrelated. It is also the reason why some things may seem incomplete or shorter than normal. Hopefully you enjoy ;)

Environmentalism

2007-06-29T14:10:00.000-04:00

I was thinking on this topic the other night, and I realized that whenever it comes up, I squinch a little bit. I put some thought into it to try and determine what it is about the topic that bugs me. And I realized that what bugs me about the environment debate is not the sides, the consequences, the suggested action or the cost. What bugs me is the obsession. We are starting to make environmentalism our god. We make a god either out of agreeing with it, or we make a god out of disagreeing with it, but either way, it is becoming the god of our culture, worshipped in fear or rejected in anger. This is a clear example of "taking our eyes off of Christ and focusing on a crisis"*. I think we need to act to take care of God's world, but remembering that it is God's world. He is the one in whom we need to put our hope and our trust, not the environment. The truth of the matter is, if this world is going to end, it is because God decided that it was time, not because we screwed things up too badly for God to fix.

The truth is, if we are trying to take care of our environment in order to save it or save ourselves, we are doing so for the wrong reasons. Taking care of this world should be done in obedience to God, out of a desire to take care of one of the gifts He has given us. Our focus should never be the environment. Our focus needs to be God, and the priorities we place on the other things in our lives should flow out of that. As a culture, we are worshiping the environment, and the danger of that is that we are taking what belongs to the only true and living God and sacrificing it to a little pagan god we've created for ourselves.

Let me state my position here in a clear and succinct statement:

I think that, as stewards of God's earth, we need to be responsible and take care of the earth (and all of the creatures in it), but we need to never forget that this world belongs to God, not the other way around.

*spoken by Pastor Gerry Benn. His topic was not environmentalism. He meant it to have general application.

**click here for further comments from a reader and the author.

Popularity

2007-06-27T13:30:00.000-04:00

Well that's harsh...

*laughs* even without Facebook, I can't escape the friends list...

;)

Three Beautiful Things

2007-06-12T17:44:00.001-04:00

1. Being "featured" on my dad's blog

2. Finding a newspaper clipping perfect for a friend of mine

3. Rediscovering the art and joy of journaling

Fight or Flight?

2007-06-06T20:48:00.001-04:00

I've recently come to a conclusion: it is pointless to fight temptation.

Stick with me. I'm not saying temptation is a good thing or something to be indulged. Here's the thing. Temptation never looks ugly to us. It builds from a desire that we have within us, a desire either for something we shouldn't, or for something we should but in amounts that we shouldn't. Temptation actually looks pretty good to us. It seduces us with something that we want. It is inside of us. This is why fighting temptation is almost an exercise in futility. As anyone knows who has sat in a room with a fragrant dessert they've been sharply instructed not to consume (either by loving friends and relatives or by oneself), when temptation calls to us with every ploy and contrivance that it has, because it is calling from inside ourselves, it is difficult beyond all to resist. As Jesus said, "Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall" (Luke 11:17). The fight against temptation is one we will never win.

Isn't it an amazing to relief, then, to remember that the Bible doesn't tell us to fight temptation?

1 Corinthians 6:18
1 Corinthians 10:14
1 Timothy 6:11
2 Timothy 2:22

These all instruct us to flee. How encouraging! This is a battle that I've known I couldn't win. I've been fighting, knowing I'm not winning it and wondering if there is any way I ever could. Knowing also that in failing it, I'm failing my God. But to be reminded of this! Fighting temptation isn't enough. I need first to flee from it, as far and radically as I can. And those times when in fleeing I do not escape it, here is the promise of what happens then: "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it" (1 Corinthians 10:13). Wow. In fighting temptation, I fail, but in fleeing temptation, I allow God to take over the fight, and He wins everytime. How amazing is our God!

click here for further comments from a reader and the author

Postcard from Summerisle

2007-06-05T19:21:00.000-04:00

Fabulous commercial: VW Rabbit

The song for it has become one of my favourites. I found it on YouTube and asked my dad if he could download the song for me from iTunes (since I don't have an account). He downloaded the whole CD for me. I've never heard of these guys before, but they are fabulous! I listened to the whole CD while driving to my University town for a visit and laughed at every new song because of how delightful it is. I give it five (out of five) stars.

Postcard from Summerisle - Patrick & Eugene
(via)

Goodbye, and thanks for all the fish

2007-05-31T01:39:00.000-04:00

After being back on Facebook for about a week, I decided that what I disliked about it outweighed what I liked about it. So I have deactivated my account. Interesting, though. Before you can deactivate it, you have to say why you are disabling your account. They give you several specific options ("I spend too much time on Facebook", "I don't find Facebook valuable", "Facebook is creating social drama in my life", etc) as well as the "other" option. But for any of the specific ones, when you select it, a little box pops up, explaining why this isn't a good reason for quitting Facebook. When one selects "I spend too much time on Facebook", Facebook helpfully explains how to disable your email alerts so you aren't tempted on to Facebook as often. (Fellow Facebook users, do you require an email alert before logging on, or do you find yourself "just checking" Facebook whether you get an email or not?) If you say that you don't find Facebook to be a valuable use of your time, it pipes up in self-defense, urging you to add more friends or join more groups to truly see how useful it can be. If you mention that it is creating social drama in your life, or that you don't feel safe on the site, Facebook immediately jumps to your rescue by pointing out its privacy features that let you choose who can and can't see your profile or contact you through the site. Slightly annoyed with Facebook's persistence ("there is no reason good enough to quit Facebook!"), I selected the "other" option, and wrote a very specific explanation as to my reasons for quitting. The friend that I quote you may recognize as a commenter from my previous Facebook post. She is, of course, my dear friend Jasmine.

I was speaking with a friend of mine and she touched on something that makes a lot of sense. She said that Facebook "doesn't allow for the natural ebb and flow of relationships" because it introduces this concept of staying in touch with people no matter the circumstances. It's a cool idea. But I realized something just now. I saw photos from a friend's wedding that I wasn't able to attend that some of her friends had put online, and I realized that I didn't want to see her wedding photos online. I wanted her to show them to me (they're still on their honeymoon). And I don't want to find out about my friends' relationships and engagements and trips they went on online. I want them to tell me about them. And if I'm suddenly back in contact with an old friend, I want it to be because we bumped into each other in the supermarket, not because we Facebook-creeped each other. It isn't for any of the reasons that have been suggested as bullet points ("I use Facebook too much", etc). At one point in time, my profile was completely filled out. I have upwards of 100 friends. I don't receive any Facebook emails except for when a picture of me is added. I know how to use the site. I edited my personal settings so I feel completely safe on the site, and I'm not experiencing any drama as a result of Facebook. So anyway. I think it's a great website. It has actually put me into contact with an old friend that I'm staying in touch with, one that I probably wouldn't bump into in the supermarket, since she lives in a different town. Then again, I'm attending an event at her church in a couple weekends, so I might bump into her then. One never knows what may happen. My reason for leaving is that I'd prefer my relationships to be real and natural, rather than sped up, slowed down or made superficial online.

LOLCODE

2007-05-30T14:04:00.000-04:00

Here's a fun link for, well, if you get it, it's for you. ;-)

link

Thanks, Matty, for drawing it to my attention.

All in God's time

2007-05-29T00:36:00.000-04:00

One thing I've been learning is that rarely do things match up with our expectations... and even though we don't see a change that we want to see, it doesn't mean it isn't happening.

I was talking with one of my friends this weekend about this. As we were talking, I remembered a lily bush that one of our neighbours purchased. It was a relatively cheap plant, so she bought it without any qualms and planted it. The first season she had it, it just stayed as a silly old bush. She decided that it must have been a dud, but one thing led to another and she didn't end up digging it up. The next season, she was happy to find several small lilies on her bush. But, oh, the year after that, these gorgeous lilies, the size of my hand (wrist to fingers) bloomed and blossomed in the most wonderful colours.

She gave us a bowl of strawberries with one of these lilies perched on top. It was beautiful.

Why i [dislike] Facebook

2007-05-24T21:40:00.000-04:00

I finally figured out what it is that I don't like about Facebook. It took me (with the help of a friend) banning myself from Facebook for several weeks and then returning to it to realize why I don't like it.

In our lives, we all desire connection with other humans. Facebook promises that connection, but if the connection happens, it rarely happens the way we expected or wanted. And so we spend our time seeking out that connection through wall postings, comments on pictures, and messages. And then we sign out, still lacking that connection that we desire, and more so, because we have had the hope of it dangled and then snatched away. So then we are drawn to this thing called Facebook again, hoping to have our desire for connection fulfilled. The funny thing is, it's a kind of connection we don't think we lack until we arrive on Facebook. The reason for that is because we don't lack it. At least not until we arrive on Facebook. Facebook creates a need that it promises to fulfill, but then never fully does, requiring us to keep coming back for more.

This isn't censor on everyone, nor on Facebook. I am simply pointing out the reasons why Facebook is "addictive" and therefore the reason that I don't like it. I don't think that what I've written is true for everyone on Facebook. I'm just trying to point out something that I don't think you can realize until you do take that step back.

As always, responses and [constructive] criticism are welcome.

Age of Grace

2007-05-20T02:53:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine recently reminded me of something very important: we are living in an age of grace.

Let that sink in and then read on for further context.

I decided last summer that I wanted to read the Bible from Genesis through to Revelations in a year. I went about things sequentially (the Table of Contents order). When I was talking with my friend, I had made it to Nehemiah. And suddenly in that conversation, I realized that it had been nearly nine months since I had read anything from the New Testament. Naturally, I followed along when the pastor preached from it, and on occasion, I did read through a chapter or two, but as far as actually dwelling on what I was reading, or reading with any kind of length or depth, I hadn't focused on the New Testament in all of that time.

You frequently hear comments to the effect of "you are what you eat", etc. What you put into your body or soul changes you, whether it is for the better or for the worst. You can't pretend like it doesn't effect you. It does, whether you are willing to admit it or not. By only reading the Old Testament, my perception of God changed. It became lopsided. My impression of my relationship with Him changed. I became convinced that I wasn't good enough, and that I had to keep working to please God so that He would accept me. I would mess up, and I would feel guilty and condemned.

My friend reminded me of God's grace. When he said that we were living in an age of grace, it led me to all the remembrances of who God really is, apart from the lies I had been believing. I was reminded that Jesus came to earth to die for our sins to reconcile us back to God. He rose from the dead and conquered death. Jesus was God's gift to the world so that we could be in God's presence, so that we could be in relationship with God again. My friend reminded me that because of this, it makes sense that we dwell on that which applies to us most. Since we have God's grace, it makes sense to be reading about that and letting it sink into our hearts.

That night, rather than continue reading in Nehemiah, I flipped over to Luke, and I remember. I remember that God loves me, no matter what. I remember that as much as He is a just God, He is loving, too. I remember that no matter what I do, I will never be "good enough", but I also remember that because of Jesus, I don't need to be. I remember that Jesus is the Way, and that because of His sacrifice, I don't have to be "good enough" in order to be in God's presence. I feel again God's forgiveness of my sins. I remember again that He remembers my sins no more. I remember His love for me, and I remember His grace.

note: What I am trying to illustrate is that I have noticed in my life that I need to balance the Old Testament with the New. Also, though this is something I've been thinking about for awhile, this is being written at a rather unreasonable hour. Criticism is always welcome, but please take that into consideration ;-)

Happenstance, juncture and veracity

2007-05-08T20:14:00.001-04:00

1. Walking in to apply for a job and finding that I am there exactly when the business is performing open, group interviews. I am shown to a table with several other applicants and within 10 minutes, I am with this same group participating in round one of the interview process.

2. Sharing N.O.W. moments around the table at dinner.

3. Still enjoying the book on grammar I purchased over the weekend. It was the "#1 New York Times Bestseller!" as the cover proudly exclaims, meaning that there are a lot more of us grammar "sticklers" out there than the world would have us believe ;-).

New Life

2007-04-29T23:45:00.000-04:00

Our pastor is going through the book of Acts in the Bible, and this morning, he was talking about some men of the time who were believers, but hadn't gotten past John's baptism (when John was preparing the way before Jesus came). John's baptism was a baptism of repentance, and our pastor compared John's baptism and Jesus' baptism and the difference that it made in the lives of these men, and the difference it should make in our lives as Christians.

His point was that as Christians, many of us are stuck at "John's baptism", the place of feeling bad for our sins, seeking repentance, feeling guilty, seeking to stop sinning. This is not the problem. The problem is that this is where many of us stop. We don't move beyond feeling guilty. The baptism of John was about repentance, but the baptism of Jesus is about new life. There is so much joy to be had in Christ. The Christian walk is so much more than just getting rid of sin. The fruits of the Spirit don't paint a picture of dullness or dreariness or guilt. In Christ, "the sky is the limit," our pastor said. We shouldn't stop and stay stuck at feeling guilty. We should pursue the joy that is in Christ.

Cats & Dogs and Email

2007-04-26T23:06:00.000-04:00

1. Spending the day at the zoo in the pouring rain with good friends. Seeing all sorts of animals up close that I would never have the chance to see otherwise (some being blissfully behind very thick glass... ie, tarantulas). Going with others whose interest in the animals exceeded my own, and being able to have all sorts of questions answered as we went along. Getting completely but happily drenched.

2. Receiving an unexpected email from a friend I haven't seen in awhile.

3. Spending a quiet evening at home, enjoying Mom's "mud" cookies, and catching up with friends.

Crumpled Flowers

2007-04-17T20:36:00.000-04:00

I can honestly say that it makes me want to cry when I am reminded of the reasons why so many people don't or can't believe in God. I guess the reason that it saddens me is that the primary reason people can't believe in Christ is because of Christians. We are the worst representatives of what we believe. We are the people who claim to follow a God of love, and then turn around and condemn, judge, war, hate, gossip, lie, steal, etc, etc, etc, from those around us. We are the people who exploit our beliefs (I've seen an advertisment on TV for a prayer line. Only $.99/minute to share your prayer requests!). We are the people who justify so much of what we do by saying that "God told us to." All of this is crap! Nowhere in the Bible does Jesus encourage us to gain as much wealth as we can. In fact, He encourages us to give it all up for Him and for our fellow man. Jesus doesn't tell us to make war on fellow humans. In fact, He tells Peter to put away his sword. He says "Blessed are the peacemakers." He came to heal, He came to love, He came to call us to follow Him and provide this love and care for everyone around us. But there are a lot more people out there who haven't read the Bible than there are people who have. And if those people look at Christians, those of us who claim to follow Christ, what conclusion are they to be left with but that we follow a god who is as selfish and judgmental as we are? But this is not the God that we follow. The God that we follow is so much bigger than this, so much more merciful and full of grace. This is a God who calls us to radical change, but not for us to change society to follow our ideals (and those who do this are usually forwarding their own ideals, rather than what the God of the Bible calls us to). God doesn't call us to this. He calls us to love one another, to treat others as better than ourselves, to change our own hearts to follow after Him. And when our hearts are changed, then He uses us to better the lives of those around us. It saddens me when people claim to follow Christ, but then purposely drag His name through the mud (in the examples of people taking advantage of others in the name of God). I mean, we as Christians are human, so we aren't and cannot be perfect. We make mistakes. It's bound to happen. But as Christians, we need to kill our pride and admit these mistakes before they come to badly reflect who Christ is. I admit it, I suck at killing my pride. I don't like being humbled. But it is something worth working at. And this need increases tenfold when a Christian finds themselves in a position of leadership and/or a position that is very visible to the public. If we are representatives of Christ, we owe it to Him and to those around us to show His love. Imagine if you asked a friend to deliver a bouquet of flowers to the person you loved. He agreed, but he was careless. He stopped to pick up some things from the store and forgot the bouquet. He ran back to get it, but a couple flowers were missing. Then he saw some friends in the park, and they threw a frisbee at him, so he dropped the flowers in the mud in order to catch it. After tossing it around for awhile, he picked up the flowers and continued walking. He saw a pretty girl and gave away another of the flowers to try and get her attention. She wasn't fooled, and was actually kind of insulted by the gesture. Finally, your friend gets to the person, and all they have to hand to this person is half a bouquet in a crumpled paper wrap, all of it covered in mud and slightly wilted and crushed. And imagine the deeper hurt this person experiences when your friend tells them who the bouquet came from. They could imagine what you intended for the bouquet, but if your friend insists that the way it is now is the way they received it, I doubt this person would ever want to talk to you again. I think that God reacts in this situation much as we would. The person that He loves, He pursues. He doesn't just leave them with the crumpled bouquet. He actively goes after them. But as representatives of Christ, as friends who are delivering these flowers to all the world... my word, we ought to take care of this message. This shouldn't be tossed around, or used to get what we want. This is a precious message of love to the ones Jesus loves. Lord God, forgive me for the crumpled flowers I've delivered. Teach me how to deliver them as you intended for them to be.

Last night and this morning

2007-04-17T14:01:00.000-04:00

1. As I walk into an exam that I was feeling stressed about, I bump into my favourite professor. "Good morning, Professor," I say as I walk by. "Good morning, Tara. Writing Romantics?" he asks, looking at the classroom I was going into [British Literature: The Romantic Period]. "Uh huh," I answer. "Knock 'em dead!" he says. And I don't feel so stressed anymore.

2. Talking about a friend and then seeing him walking by the window, which means I get to say "and speak of the devil." Sort of wishing he could have heard me, so I could see the series of expressions he gets as he goes from working out if I'm being serious or teasing him, to an impish grin and responding comment as he decides upon the latter.

3. Wondering why the thought of chocolate doesn't provide quite the excitement that it usually does, and then remembering the pile of "everything that is sweet and good" I secured for a friend and I as we were studying late last night. Remembering also the amount of studying we got done while studying together compared to the amount of time we spent laughing. Perhaps chocolate wasn't such a good idea last night ;-).

cheater's 4. Finally hearing the song that was the basis for an inside joke (from 3 or 4 years ago) with my brother. Laughing, though I can't remember what made it funny to begin with. Laughing mostly in delight at actually hearing the song and not just the lines quoted from it.

A Dickens what?

2007-04-14T13:30:00.000-04:00

Umm...

click here

English Geek part... oh, who can keep track anymore?

2007-04-03T16:45:00.000-04:00

I discovered this in my Teen Study Bible (published by Zondervan, written in one of the notes):

One susurration from God is worth a thousand siroccos.

I wrote it down to look up the words. Merely curiousity. This is what I learned:

susurration: a whispering murmer
sirocco: a fiery storm

And I laughed out loud in delight, especially over the discovery of susurration. It is such a perfect word for it.

And so,

One whispering murmer from the mouth of God is worth a thousand fiery storms.

Mhmm!

Self vs. Self

2007-04-03T12:11:00.000-04:00

I read about this idea somewhere.* I wish I could remember where I read it, and who said it initially, but I can't. I think it was one of the authors I tend to read most often: C.S. Lewis, Philip Yancey, Donald Miller... maybe Max Lucado? Regardless, I was thinking about this last night and scribbled this out.

I think it's true that society is teaching us two very contrasting and very false ways to look at ourselves: blind love and blind hatred. There is no middle ground, and both coexist, each vying for the higher position of ruler. But the problem in both of these -- self-love and self-hatred -- is self. With "self" in the position of control, and these warring ideas constantly changing places, we can never know peace. Placing Jehovah in the position of Ruler of our will shines the light of Truth on these two lies and sets us free. Though slaves to the Most High, we are freer than we could ever know in the earthly sense of the world.

Society teaches us self-esteem and to love and value ourselves. It teaches us to see ourselves as the most important thing in our lives and teaches us to do whatever it takes to get what we want.

And then society teaches us that what we want is a new self. It teaches us that we are not good enough, that everyone is judging us and comparing us to the "perfect ideal" that it claims is out there, but that doesn't actually exist.

By believing these two differing messages, we are never content in ourselves. We fluctuate between believing ourselves perfect and believing ourselves scum, the feelings replacing each other sometimes within minutes.

But this is merely how the world would like us to see ourselves. This is not how God sees us.

God sees as we truly are. He sees the dirt in our lives. He sees the sin, the junk, the putrescence that is within us... but because of Jesus... because of the sacrifice He made for us... because He took the punishment of death for our garbage... because He destroyed the power that death had over us... because of Jesus... God sees us for how He intended us to be. God sees our potential. Because of Jesus, God sees His character traits in us. God looks on us, His children, and sees the things we have inherited from Him: love, patience, gentleness, kindess, joy, faithfulness, goodness, grace, compassion, mercy, righteousness, justice**... all that is right within us comes from Him, and when our sense of self is from Him as well, the warring within our minds, the endless, cyclical game of king-of-the-hill within us finally comes to an end. God stands in the place of Ruler. God has His way within us. Our identity is formed in Him. And in Him, we find peace.

*The idea that has been borrowed is this: that society teaches us both self-love and self-hatred. The expansion that I am making on this idea is my own thinking.
**Galatians 5:22

Don't make me axe you again

2007-04-03T12:07:00.000-04:00

*laughs*

This would give you a bit more of an incentive to listen to your mother.

Three Beautiful Things

2007-04-01T14:03:00.000-04:00

idea from here.

1. Unexpectedly running into an acquaintance friend that I haven't seen for nearly 4 months. Being asked a semi-personal question and finding myself giving a summary of my life story nearly without realizing it, without feeling uncomfortable or self-concious and knowing she's completely interested. Suddenly realizing that, even though we don't know each other very well, we would both feel completely comfortable telling each other anything. Making tentative plans to get more caught up next week.

2. Going through a bag of newly purchased embroidery floss skeins (that I purchased on sale, 3 for $1!) and delighting, not only in the money saved, but also in seeing all of the colours again and thinking how beautiful they are and how much I am looking forward to using them.

3. Hearing L-- playing a song on the piano that exactly expresses the way I'm feeling at the moment. ("In Christ Alone")

cheater's 4. Clicking on a link on the Google homepage and having feelings of confusion and suspicion slowly replaced by delight and vast amusement as I realize what day it is.

cheater's 5. Discovering I've crossed the line that seperates an acquaintance from a friend as I realize that I recognize the look in someone's eyes and the emotion that they are experiencing based on what the pastor was discussing at the moment. Realizing that there is another line that seperates a friend from a good friend when I realize that I don't feel comfortable asking them how they are doing or if they wanted to talk.

cheater's 6. Composing doggerel poetry in my head as I watch a lone goose, writing as though it was the goose speaking, looking for his lost love. It amused me for a good three minutes as I decided that geese are very melodramatic creatures. She was just getting a drink of water. If he was really that forlorn, he could have flown down to meet her. It was at this point that I stopped composing and decided it would be best to join the real world again ;-)

Patience

2007-03-09T18:55:00.000-05:00

From my journal, the evening of August 13, 2005:

---------------

Go down ahead of me to Gilgal. I will surely come down to you to sacrifice burnt offerings and fellowship offerings, but you must wait seven days until I come to you and tell you what you are to do.
~1 Samuel 10:8

Saul remained at Gilgal, and all the troops with him were quaking with fear. He waited seven days, the time set by Samuel; but Samuel did not come to Gilgal, and Saul's men began to scatter. So he said, "Bring me the burnt offering and the fellowship offerings." And Saul offered up the burnt offering. Just as he finished making the offering, Samuel arrived, and Saul went out to greet him.
"What have you done?" asked Samuel.
Saul replied, "When I saw that the men were scattering, and that you did not come at the set time, and that the Philistines were assembling at Micmash, I thought, 'Now the Philistines will come down against me at Gilgal, and I have not sought the Lord's favor.' So I felt compelled to offer the burnt offering."
"You acted foolishly," Samuel said. "You have not kept the command the LORD your God gave you; if you had, he would have established your kingdom over Israel for all time. But now your kingdom will not endure; the LORD has sought out a man after his own heart and appointed him leader of his people, because you have not kept the LORD's command."
Then Samuel left Gilgal and went up to Gibeah in Benjamin.
~1 Samuel 13:7-15

This is a lesson for sure. So many times, God gives us a glimpse of things to come, but He says wait until the approrpiate time so that He can "tell you what you are to do" (1 Samuel 10:8). But what we think is the right time comes and goes and after our right time, we have very little patience for waiting any longer. So what do we do? Take it to God? Wait longer (in patience or impatience)? No. What we do is go ahead and take or do whatever it is we're waiting for. Then - I kid you not - barely a second goes past and God walks in, disappointed, angry, that we disobeyed and asks us why we could not have waited. Just that single second.

---------------

It is difficult, but waiting when God tells you to wait is completely worth it. For all the impatient feelings, and the frustrated desire to do something, waiting when God asks you to is the only and most satisfying thing to do. God is always faithful to His promises. And we need to be faithful in obedience to Him.

Candlelight

2007-03-07T10:40:00.000-05:00

A friend of mine told this story a little while ago.

He was a camp counselor for junior high kids, and one night they had this incredible speaker come and talk to the kids about how important it was to support each other in their walks of faith. During his talk, they passed out candles and lighted them all. After, the speaker asked for the kids to meet him at the top of a hill just outside the building they were standing in, and to bring their candles along. As soon as they stepped outside, they were buffeted by some pretty intense winds, putting their candlelight in jeopardy. Spontaneously, as the kids were walking, there was a flurry of activity to keep their candles lit. When one went out, other kids turned and re-lit it. Some discovered that if they put their flames together, it made it into an even stronger one. And so, they made it up the hill, candles glowing. The speaker was already standing there and he looked at them, smiling, and said, "Did you see what just happened there? None of you could have made it up that hill on your own."

This parallels nearly perfectly what our walk with Christ should look like. None of us can make it up the hill on our own. We need to have others to support us, others to help us get back on track when the flame goes out, others to make our flame stronger. Praise God He has given us each other to walk with through life. Let's not forget to depend on each other and to let others depend on us.

Here It Goes Again

2007-03-06T11:04:00.000-05:00

Ironically enough, the title of the video (below) is what's happening with this blog. Here it goes again! I haven't written in a very long time. My reasons are similar to his reasons for stopping altogether. I've been busy, and when I haven't, the things that are going on in my life felt much too personal to publish for all the world to see. And, of course, we can't forget about lack of motivation. There were a couple of things I was considering posting, but just never got around to it. But they were all within the past week or so, so they might make it on here eventually.

Things to relate include:
my super-fun trip to Ottawa
my parent's super-fun trip to Bermuda (without us! *tear*)
missing keys
a story a friend told me
a review of a book I've almost finished reading

Look forward to it! ;-)

Here It Goes Again

2007-03-06T11:03:00.000-05:00

Possibly one of my favourite online videos

here

Fun link

2007-01-31T17:04:00.000-05:00

Every now and again, traffic on my blog spikes, and when I realize that I haven't posted in what feels like awhile, I begin to feel terribly guilty. This post is to alleviate that guilt ;-).

And here's a fun link to entertain you:

fun link

Fabulous guitarist. Pete Huttlinger. My dad pointed out this link on his blog.

Salsa Fever II

2007-01-20T12:35:00.000-05:00

Since we all seemed to enjoy it so much last time, we decided we would go Salsa dancing again. This time, though, we actually went into the club and actually learned and danced the night away to Salsa and merengue music. It was a lot of fun. And as with most residence adventures of this sort, we had a group of about 25 people coming with us, crowding the club and shocking the dance teachers ("Where did you all come from??" was their incredulous question as we filled up their little dance floor. They were pleased to have us out, though). So they taught us the basic steps, some fun turns and a variation on the steps. Then they played music for the rest of the night and let us dance. It was bunches of fun. I danced mostly with a good friend of mine (granted, I wasn't on the floor for an incredibly lengthy amount of time), but there was also this really good dancer who seemed to be ensuring that no girl had to sit on the sidelines for too long. And he asked me and a couple other girls in our group (at separate times, obviously) to join him on the floor. He was a very good leader, and honestly, I was soo dizzy when I came off the floor, because he just kept spinning and turning and doing move after move. We hardly did the basic for more than twice in a row. It was great fun. And I was doing fairly well, too, with following him, but about halfway through the song, I got lost, completely lost, and I couldn't pick it up again. I felt bad because we were having fun, but he just turned me so we were side by side and talked me through picking it up again, and then we were off, spinning and turning and getting very dizzy again. It was a blast. I think that everyone who went had a great time, and at least my one roommate and I are planning on going again next week. We planned and planned and planned on going Salsa dancing nearly every week last term, but never went. But now that we've been and know what it's like, we will likely be going a lot more often. Which is wonderful. It is great exercise and so much fun. If you ever have the chance to go, even if you don't know what you're doing, if you can find a place that has Salsa nights, go, for certain, go. Most places usually offer a lesson before the night starts, so even if you don't know what you're doing, they'll help you out. It's so much fun!

Stellarium

2007-01-17T16:52:00.000-05:00

This is possibly one of the coolest freeware programs I have seen in a long time. I am currently enrolled in an astronomy class with several of my friends. It is, by far, one of the best classes I have taken. We all feel the same way. We'll be checking the clock, but rather than being disappointed that only five minutes have passed, we'll be surprised that five minutes have passed so quickly. I was feeling rather tired one class and before class, I was contemplating leaving at the break. But by the time the break rolled around, I didn't want to leave! It is a very fun and interesting class.

Anyhow, on the first day of class, our professor showed us this program. What it does is it essentially puts a planetarium on your computer screen. You can select the time and location, and it shows you a picture of the sky at the time you selected, including the names of planets and well known stars, and it works in real time (should you desire) showing the movements of the sky as time passes. You can also speed up time and watch the stars move across your screen. It is a very cool program. I think that it would also be a good companion for amateur star-gazing, if you had a laptop on which to bring the program with you.

You can download this program here.

Happy Star-gazing!

Thirst

2007-01-15T00:17:00.000-05:00

I was at a church service this morning and something that was mentioned has left me unsettled. The service was based on liturgy, which is something I'm not used to. I've attended this particular church once before, so I did know what to expect, but it is not what I am used to. I am taking issue to something that is perhaps somewhat insignificant and semantical, but to someone who is in English, word choice is... I'm tempted to say "everything" because that is more poetic/dramatic/melodramatic, but I won't. What I will say is that words shouldn't be throw-aways. Especially not when used to talk about something so important as this: Love.

In case my useage of the word "liturgy" is incorrect, I will explain. The service was comprised of several hymns and several readings, where a leader would read a passage and the church congregation would read a response. My discontent stems from a very small passage from the reading. It was talking about love and the traits and qualities of love, roughly quoting 1 Corinthians 13. Very roughly. One of the statements was, "Love is content."

Love is content?

I was not content with that, so I looked up 1 Corinthians 13. It says nothing about love being content.

Here let me say how it is that I agree with that statement before I go any farther. I think that there are times where love must be content. Perhaps love must refrain from an action because it would not be to the good of another. Thus, love must be content with restraint in that matter. But other than that, "content" is not how I read the description of love in Scripture.

"Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

In fact, let me quote the whole passage. It is a long read, but is wonderful.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

The paragraph beginning, "Love never fails" is a touch more abstract. But what I see here is not a love content with contentment. I see here a passionate love, a radical love. A love that is trusting and hoping and looking to the future. I see a love that recognizes and lives out sacrifice, I see a love that is desperate for truth and justice and righteousness. I see nothing here that describes a content love.

Perhaps it is picking, to so focus on such a word. It is a lovely church, with wonderful people, and comforting ideas about hospitality. And in fact, I see two definitions of contentment at play here. When you are nestled in an easy chair and all is right in the world, when you are able to simply enjoy, when you feel peace and joy, and all you need to is breathe a deep sigh, that is contentment. That is love that need not fight. That is a love that has accomplished (at least for the moment) that which love is required to do. That is when love can be content. But, at least in the context, the contentment that it seemed to be referring to is that kind of false contentment. The kind where you find yourself sitting in the theatre, watching life play out on the stage in front of you. You see the injustices and the unrighteousness, the hurting and weary people moving about the world, the need, the desperate, grasping, hungry need... and you sit back in your chair, content to watch. That is the kind of contentment that love is not.

And we return again to the passion that love is, the fight for justice and the desire to fill that which is empty. And this is where I struggled. Until love has found rest, love is not content to sit back and do nothing. Love is to persevere, to hope, to trust, to protect. It is our calling, as children of God, to love. To love and to be love. It is our calling to be the love that this world is begging for. As carriers of God's love, He has given us knowledge that we may bring others to the One who will quench their thirst. We certainly can't make them drink, but shame on us if we do not point out the well.

Where's Tara? - with answers

2006-12-13T19:15:00.000-05:00

These are some of the more "unique" shots from our trip. 10 points to whomever can correctly name where a picture was taken. (They were either taken in one of the four parks, or at our hotel). Karine is already winning by 10 points ;-). Good luck!

taken at our hotel

taken at our hotel

taken at the UK pavillion at Epcot

taken at the Magic Kingdom: the girl in pink was feeding the birds

taken at MGM Studios outside of the Muppets show

taken at our hotel

taken at our hotel

taken at... I can't remember, actually... I think it was our hotel

I admit, these were nearly impossible to get. There really wasn't any clue in any of them as to where they were taken... but hopefully you enjoyed the pictures nonetheless!

Love Heals Your Heart

2006-12-12T19:15:00.000-05:00

Did you think you were immune to this
Did you think you could escape without infection
You do all you're able to resist
Just to avoid the danger of rejection

Memory warns you of the past
When it all went wrong

When you think your life is shattered
And there's no way to be fixed again
Love heals your heart
At a time you least expected
You're alive like you have never been
Love heals your heart

Everybody has a wall to climb
That was built to guard the pain that holds them captive
Every smile that they would hide behind
Will try to mask the hurt beneath the surface

Sometimes it's hard to understand
How we're trapped inside

When you think your life is shattered
And there's no way to be fixed again
Love heals your heart
At a time you least expected
You're alive like you have never been
Love heals your heart

~Third Day, Love Heals Your Heart

Good song. Good lyrics. If you have the chance, I highly recommend picking up a copy of their latest album, Wherever You Are.

Park[s] x 2

2006-12-10T23:21:00.000-05:00

The money shot. This is the picture everyone takes when they go to Disney. It seems to be the icon of Disney. When you think Disney, Cinderella's castle is bound to come to mind. Just look at their logo.

Animal Kingdom

We are the pirates who don't do anything! Wait... wrong song...

Fountain... at the entrance to Epcot... actually very cool.

That's about all for the "traditional" Disney pictures. Check back in a few days to see some of the unique aspects of the park.

A Day in the Park[s]

2006-12-04T19:43:00.000-05:00

These are some pics from our travels around the parks at Disney World.

Epcot Centre! This one took some serious timing. The monorail was moving pretty quickly, and the camera I was using (the little PowerShot) has a delay between hitting the button and capturing the picture, so I had to hit the button in anticipation of the shot I wanted.

I can't even remember where this was... probably in the UK somewhere. ;-) Epcot has a "World Showcase" with 'little' pavillions where they display cultures from around the world.

This is how they portray Canada:

I wish I had managed to get a picture of the costumes the Canadian workers wear at the Canadian pavillion. I kid you not, a red, plaid, flannel shirt, khaki pants or skirts, and workboots. Which, as irony would have it, is exactly the outfit I chose today. I am so Canadian!

Indiana Jones Stunt Spectacular!

Mmmm.... good enough to eat... And we did! The fudge was fab :-).

at Disney MGM Studios.

More tomorrow! (or whenever...) Plus some [hopefully] fun, and [an attempt at] unique shots. Stay tuned!

Florida?

2006-11-30T23:47:00.000-05:00

I am pleased, proud, and just tickled pink to announce that as of Saturday the 25th, my busy November was finished. My reasons for not blogging about this earlier are as follows:

I was in Florida.

Shocked? Good ;-).

It was good times, though. My dad had a business conference there, and he brought me along with him! It was exciting. We hit the theme parks, and went to the Hoop-Dee-Do Review dinner show, and took in the Illuminations fireworks. It was spectacular. I took several photographs. I can't compare them to the pictures that my dad took. He had his whole rig with him. I had a little Canon PowerShot. Woot woot...

But, here's a little photo diary of our trip:

Our sweet ride... Convertible! :-D

The view from our hotel. I have to admit, I adore lighthouses. I took quite a few pictures of this one lighthouse *blush*

10 points to the first person who can tell me what this is (contest not open to persons, such as Dad, who were there)

Photographer hard at work

Tune in tomorrow (or whenever I get a chance to update) for some pictures from the parks!

Something's missing...

2006-11-19T01:51:00.000-05:00

You know what sucks about this stage of our lives? Those in University living away from home can perhaps relate to this. It's odd. I'm in my third year and it has just dawned on me. From this point on, something will always be missing in our lives. Something, or more often, someone. I looked out my window and saw someone walking down the path who reminded me of someone, but I couldn't place my finger on just who it was; and then I realized that that person (who I was reminded of) was missing from my life. I am here and my family is missing. My friends from church, and work, and high school, and elementary school are missing. When I am home, my friends from university are missing, my professors, even just the people I don't know that I recognize because I see them walking past my window everyday on their way to work or school. Friends from the town I used to live in are missing. And I have come to love several spots around campus that go missing when I leave here. It's amazing the footprints people leave on our lives. There are people, naturally, that you hold most dear to you, but I submit that every person you encounter has an impact on your life. It is possible to suggest that I am merely overstating, but what I say is true. I think the natural tendency is to look at a person you don't know and to discard their memory because you don't know them. It is even the tendency to view someone negatively that you don't know. I think... I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I do know that we, as humans, were not designed to know and be intimate friends with everyone we meet. My understanding is that, while we have the capacity to know and have interest in hundreds (?) of people, we tend to associate ourselves with a group of 10 or so people, and we tend to have only a couple of people that we tell all to, the people that we are most connected to. So, in no way am I implying that it's inappropriate to not commit to memory every person we happen to see. That is far too difficult. But the thing is, God created every single person on this earth. Everything you think and feel towards yourself and towards the dozen people you hold close to you applies to every single person on earth. Each person on this earth is unique and special. Each person has an amazing story, wonderful talents, interesting things to say (if you are reading this, and don't agree with this about yourself, then my prayer is that you would come to see yourself as the precious creation of God that you are). I think my main problem is the tendency to view those we don't know as "them" and to therefore discount their value. I think that if you honestly seek to know someone and to find out about them, if you take the time to coax open the layers of their life, you will be floored. The thing is, this often takes a lot of time, sometimes years. People have learned very well (too well) how to protect themselves from the pains of this world, and as such, it takes a long time, persistence and bushels, buckets and barrels of love to peel away those layers. But once you do, it is always worth it.

One Word Makes All The Difference

2006-11-19T01:44:00.000-05:00

Wow, it's amazing the difference one word can make. Someone hit my blog by typing in the search string "drivers license G1 quiz". When I searched for that, my blog was number one on the list of matches from Google. No doubt, though, they were looking for this: "drivers license G1 test". It is this search string that brings up all of the official government web pages and information about how to actually go about getting your G1. One word. By typing in "test" vs. "quiz", two completely different sets of results come up, one granting all the information you ask, the other leading you completely astray *cough* I mean, leading you here ;-).

Amazing.

And some people say words aren't important...

An Ode to Shoe Thieves

2006-11-17T16:22:00.000-05:00

An Ode to Shoe Thieves

O, the great misfortune of finding yourself mere inches too small,
Of staring up at a light while the gentle rains fall.
As the dewdrops sprinkle on top of your head,
Adding volume to a hairstyle that any girl would dread,
The distance between you and the object you prize
Is one that cannot be got over by one of your size.
The playing ground was level while things happened down here
But once the stakes were raised higher, they were too high, I fear.
How is one to accomplish this arduous task?
How is one even able to conceptualize it, I ask.
Should I find myself a ladder, I would scale it with ease.
But such a thing is not to be got, even if I should beg on my knees.
O, what a terrible thought for my footwear to sit
On top of a light fixture, just to sit and to sit.
But thankfully I happened upon one kind soul,
Who came to my aid with nary a call.
He came and he stood and he jumped very high
And with a quick fingered tap, my shoes did fly,
From their spot on the light to the ground where they lay,
Awaiting their owner to rescue them from their trial-filled day.
What is to be said of such a gentle young man?
Bravo, hooray, I hope he would do so again.
So, dear Shoe Thieves, beware, though my stature be small,
My allies are tall, and this won't be forgot very soon at all.

As it turns out, an explanation could potentially be helpful. I made the mistake of sharing an prank idea with two friends (hiding everyone's left shoe), who ended up using it against me. As they were departing after a visit, several of our shoes went unwillingly with them. I managed to rescue my roommates' shoes, but the two thieves gained some recruits who distracted me before I could in fact reclaim my own shoes. The cryptic clue the two initiators gave me led me to the door outside of my building, and in fact to the light fixture above the door, on which my shoes were perched. This was the inspiration for this poem.

Where's the any guy?

2006-11-11T03:35:00.000-05:00

(related/background)

A lot of single girls I know just want a guy. Not even a nice guy, or the right guy (unless he's right there), just a guy. And lots of people I know just want to be married, to the point where... I don't know.

I can see both sides of the fence. I understand, and in fact, share in the desire to have a someone, and to be able to share life with someone. I do want that. But "someone" won't do. I can't take just someone so that I have a someone. I am inclined to agree with one of my favourite literary characters, Elizabeth Bennet from Pride and Prejudice (by Jane Austen). Only the deepest of love will tempt me into matrimony. Love, that is, the way in which Christ demands us to show it. If I marry, I will marry for love: the desire to love and be loved by this specific person, and the desire to serve him and care for him, grow with him and worship God with him, to travel life's roads with him and to share both the sorrows and the joys that we would doubtless encounter in our journeys. I do not want to marry to be married. I do not want to marry (or date, in the more immediate future) just to be with someone, just to have someone. If I date and if I marry, it will be because of the man who asks me, not just because some man asked me. It won't simply be because I was asked out. It will be because of that which I see in the individual standing in front of me.

Reflection

2006-11-09T01:43:00.000-05:00

Our pastor this past Sunday pointed out a verse to us:

The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed. For the creation was subjected to frustration, not by its own choice, but by the will of the one who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be liberated from its bondage to decay and brought into the glorious freedom of the children of God.
~Romans 8:19-21

Brandon (the pastor) was talking about creation being reigned in and held back, waiting, just waiting.

But imagine that. Just imagine. How beautiful and amazing our world is already! Trees, flowers, birds, the sky, the wind, birdsong, babbling brooks, and every other nature cliché and heartfelt observation you can think of -- all of this is being held back, reigned in. Imagine! Our world is so incredible as it is. Just imagine how amazing, how awesome it will be when God releases the world (Isaiah 65:17-19), and lets everything rush forth into the full, brimming essence of what it was meant to be from the very beginning.

How incredible, how awesome, how (I don't even have the words!) will that day be!

Secret Mission

2006-11-03T10:54:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I snuck home without telling anyone.

My mom came to get me, and we left. But that actually wasn't my intention. As we were walking out of the building, she asked me, "Did you tell anyone you were doing this?" And I stopped and laughed, because I hadn't. It hadn't even occurred to me to do so.

I drove home yesterday. Usually I let my mom drive, but there was a very good reason why I drove yesterday.

Yesterday, I got my G license.

For those of you from out of country or out of province, that's the full driver's license. You have to take a written test, and upon passing it, you get your G1. With this license, you can drive, but a fully licensed driver must be in the passenger seat, and you can't drive on the highway. Then you take a driving test, and upon passing that, you get your G2. With this, you can drive on your own, and you're essentially golden, except that your license expires five years after getting your G1. If you don't get your full G before it expires, you have to start all the way from the beginning, and you have to pay a lovely fee...

So... after some "persuasion", shall we say, from my mom, I took the test. And passed with flying colours. So I am now a fully licensed driver.

:-D

Crying Out

2006-10-30T23:27:00.000-05:00

I am frustrated at our culture. We are too polite, too timid, too unwilling to rock the boat, that we never say what is truly on our minds. Alternatively, we are too sensitive, too vulnerable, too likely to be offended that we cannot take honesty without becoming defensive. I am not immune to this. Only today, when being told honestly that I perhaps wasn't taking complete responsibility for tasks I said I would, I became internally defensive and externally resistant, even though I realized the justice of the comments.

Criticism hurts, but there must be a society somewhere where the word "critic" holds positive connotations. There must be a society where people are honest with each other (honest in love and respect)... Hmm... there's that word again: "love". That, I think, is what is missing. Without the love of God in our lives, criticism hurts. When we gain our primary sense of worth from those around us, when we are told that we are lacking in some area, it hurts a lot. When we get our primary sense of worth from God, somehow it doesn't hurt so much. Somehow it doesn't really hurt at all. And when we have the love of God in our lives, this bleeds into love of others, which means that our criticism is done in love and respect and is done with the motive of helping and building up, rather than tearing down.

Love is so terribly missing from our society. Love and grace. And the void it has created is felt so acutely. We feel empty, we feel dry, we feel desperate to fill it with something, anything. This is God's calling to us as Christians. We need to love the people in this world and to show them God's love. We need to be Ambassadors of Love. We need to genuinely, completely and unconditionally love those around us. It is only God (God working through others) that we can learn what love truly is, and it is only by God's grace that we can be this love for those around us. We need love so badly. This world is crying out desperately for love.

How can we show this love to those within our reach?

November

2006-10-26T12:27:00.000-04:00

Though my blogging recently (read: over the past 5 or 6 months) hasn't been very consistent or frequent, expect it to become even less so. This coming November I have:
-1 assignment,
-1 quiz,
-1 midterm,
-2 term papers,
-2 essays, and
-1 or 2 optional essays for bonus credit

:-D

Plus, I agreed to sign up with my dear friend, Jasmine, on this crazy endeavour called: NaNoWriMo. This was before I realized how nuts my November would be. ;-)

So, I will either be blogging very sparsely, or I will be blogging a lot to complain about all of the things that I should be doing.

Goodbye Sleep, and fairwell to all of my friends. I'll see you again December 1st.

;-)

Stargazing

2006-10-22T14:33:00.000-04:00

I think I am somewhat recovered this morning from the adventure that we had yesterday. It is essentially as it sounds. We went stargazing.

Earlier this week, one of my roommates discovered an article in the paper announcing a meteor shower that was to happen. Her interest in astronomy, my interest in the sky and my other roommate's interest in adventures was such that we were all very excited about this event. So friday night, we talked with several of our friends and some were willing to come with us, despite the hour it was to happen: 5:30am. We didn't end up getting to sleep until around 1am, and then we woke up to meet at 5. We all piled into K--'s car and drove out into the middle of the country. We found ourselves on a field somewhere outside of town, seven cold students with a telescope, blankets, and several cameras (not to take pictures of stars). Unfortunately, it was completely overcast, but it was still a lot of fun. We took a bunch of pictures to "document" our adventure, and we hung out in the field for awhile. Then we heard a bell ringing from a far off house. It was a farmhouse, so it was probably waking people up for chores. The sky wasn't clearing up, so we decided to head back to a park in town and watch the sun rise. There was a miniature zoo in the park, and so we wandered around for awhile, looking at the animals, enjoying being the only ones awake. We walked along a boardwalk around a pond. There were a couple of swans that came right up to us. I suppose they were looking for food, but they looked so graceful and moved with ease. We couldn't see the sun rising either, but it was getting lighter and after awhile, we left the park and went to McDonald's for breakfast. Then we came back home and (most of us) fell asleep for another few hours.

Even though we didn't see any stars, we still had a great time.

This is my favourite part of university life: random, seemingly crazy adventures with good friends.

Please leave a message...

2006-10-20T09:54:00.000-04:00

This is really funny.

(The link was broken. It is now fixed. Sorry!)

Love

2006-10-19T14:51:00.000-04:00

Love interprets things in favor of the one loved. I had a long way to go to learn that, but the principle is clear enough in Paul's description: "Love is patient... never selfish, not quick to take offense. Love keeps no score of wrongs... There is nothing love cannot face; there is no limit to its faith, its hope, and its endurance."

The trouble, of course, is that we must learn to love people. People are sinners. Love must be patient when it is tempted (by the delays of other people) to be impatient. Love must not be selfish, even if other people are. Love does not take offense, though people are offensive sometimes. There are wrongs, but love won't keep score. There are things to be faced, but nothing love can't face, things to try love's faith, discourage its hope, and call for its endurance; but it keeps right on trusting, hoping, and enduring. Love never ends."

~Elisabeth Elliot in Passion and Purity

Us/Them

2006-10-19T14:08:00.000-04:00

Wow, that last post was honestly just a post about what I did today. No morals or insights drawn from it at all. How random. For me at least ;-).

Anyways...

Last night, I went to supper in my old residence building, because they had a speaker. He was talking about his organization that is doing various projects to help people in other countries extricate themselves from poverty (or at least that were related to economics). They are quite successful, actually, increasing wages from $1 a day to $50 a day, simply by providing people with more connections and opportunities to take advantage of. Worthwile programs, for certain, because now they can feed their families, send their children to school and so forth. But he started talking about control of money. He said that the goal of his organization was not to control their money, it was simply to help them figure out how to make enough and to learn some money-managing skills. Control of the earnings was, naturally, theirs. He said a throwaway statement, but it stuck with me. He said, "I wouldn't want people controlling my money. I mean, it's my money." And this, this, I fear is the result of economic development.

I read about a psychology study where they took school-age girls from Mexico and from the United States/Canada and paired the girls in two's within the same culture (so, two Mexican girls together, two American/Canadian girls, etc). Then they took each pair and set up a checker board between the two girls with one checker piece in the middle. The point of the game, the researchers told the girls, was to get the checker piece to their own side of the board and then they would recieve a prize. If the other girl got the checker piece to her own side, she would get a prize. They randomly selected which girl got to go first and then watched what happened. When the Mexican girls played, the first girl moved the piece towards herself. Then the second girl moved the piece towards the first girl(!). Then the first towards herself again until the piece got to her side and she recieved a prize. Then the two girls worked together to get the piece to the second girl's side so that she recieved a prize. And on they went until they were asked to stop playing. The girls from the United States (or Canada) played considerably differently. The first girl moved the piece towards herself. Then the second girl moved the piece towards herself. The first girl moved it again towards herself and so on. That game ended in much frustration because the piece never moved beyond its two squares at the centre of the board, and neither girl recieved a prize.

I think the incredible thing about not having much is how free you are with the little that you do have. You would think it would be opposite. If you don't have much, why let others have any of what you have? I'm not sure the reason. Perhaps it is a lack of realization of how little you have and so you freely give. I don't think that's what it is. Perhaps it is more a realization that in not having much individually, if you share with a group, you have so much more corporally. I think that's part of it. In having little, your focus becomes other people. You are more willing to sacrifice yourself and your belongings for another. But I'm not sure why that is. And you also tend to share more than just possessions: chores, child-rearing, sickness, death, joy, love. I could spend pages trying to figure this out.

So when it comes to economic development, this very unity and concern for another, this working together for the good of all I fear will be lost in working for the good of oneself and one's own family. It becomes less about how to work together to survive and get through this, and more about how much more until I can buy a new... whatever.

Hmm...

In no way think that I am in support of communism or poverty (which seem to be the two things I am writing for). I'm not. Definitely not. But there has to be some way to help people climb out of poverty and yet maintain their concern for the "other"; those people who are not a part of one's own family, friends, etc. That's really what I fear will get lost: concern for the "other". We have lost that here. The "other" is someone to be fought against, to be beaten, to triumph over, not someone to help and to love and to support. This sense of everyone being "us" is something that we definitely, definitely don't have anymore. "Us" is reserved for a very few people. "Them" is everyone else. There has to be a way to help people thrive while still maintaining the "us" mentality.

Skating

2006-10-19T14:04:00.000-04:00

I went skating today, and honestly, those skates are going to be the death of me! *laughs*

I bought them used at least 4 years ago. They haven't been sharpened in almost a year. I almost fell three times today.

It was amusing, though. Someone suddenly came up beside me and passed me, naturally distracting me from the course I was traveling in, and when I looked to see who it was, I lost my footing and nearly fell. I laughed ruefully and the person passing me chuckled along with me before carrying on.

So, needless to say, I stopped early. But it was fun. I really like skating.

Used Books II

2006-10-15T14:51:00.000-04:00

I was talking about used books a long time ago, sometime last February, and I mentioned that I didn't used to like them. In that post, though, I described the book that changed my mind. You can read about that here.

I purchased another book over the summer at a used bookstore. It is a collection of Tennyson's Poetical Works. This, too, has an inscription on the very first leaf.

Henderson
21 Madison Ave.

May 1929

And so I am now determinably fixed and enraptured by used books. Each book tells more of a story than just what the author wrote. Each used book tells a story of its previous owner. The handwriting, the choice of words on the leaf, the markings throughout the book...

I was back at that used bookstore again over the weekend to purchase some books for a Shakespeare course that I am taking. I was initially going to go to Chapters, but as I drove past this bookstore, I realized that at Chapters, I would probably have to spend near $100 to get each of the plays I needed (10 plays, approximately $10 a piece). At the used bookstore, I spend less than $40 on the same number of plays. I was quite pleased. One of the plays was owned by an Ali Lloyd, who didn't seem to use it very much. It is practically in pristine condition except for the name on the inside cover. Another was owned by a Bryan A. Henderson of Scotland. The date listed is 1975. I wonder if it belonged to the same Hendersons as my Tennyson, above?

Anyhow, I could spend the next however many paragraphs boring you with the details of my amazing finds, but somehow that makes me think that you might never come back for fear of what you'll be subjected to next time, so I will refrain. But the point is that over the weekend, I decided that used books have more character. I will still purchase new books if something grabs my attention (100 "Speeches that changed the world", Scott Huler's "Defining the Wind", etc.), but I do adore used books.

...

Okay, one more point on used books and then I will let you go. Books used to be printed beautifully. Gorgeous covers, gold lettering on the spines, good quality paper, etc, etc. You just can't find that kind of printing in contemporary books today. Even the "classics" that are being printed now are paperbacks. So that is another thing that I quite enjoy about used books: the aesthetic pleasures.

And I'm going to stop now, before you come to think that I'm a book snob (I'm really not! I'm just an idealist. ;-) Read the post below)

Happy Reading!

Idealistic Tendencies

2006-10-15T14:37:00.000-04:00

I realized yesterday that I'm an idealist. I always thought I was more of a realist leaning towards optimism. Actually, I always knew that I was more inclined to be optimistic than anything else, but I never thought I would describe myself as an idealist. But I am.

When I say I am an idealist, I'm not referring to the philosophical definition of the word. Google defines an idealist in a couple of ways, and here are the ways that I am meaning:

someone guided more by ideals than by practical considerations

a person having high ideals, sometimes with the connotation that those ideals are unrealisable or at odds with "practical" life

MerriamWebster.com defines an ideal as:

a standard of perfection, beauty or excellence

I can't even say what it is specifically that I am idealistic about. It has more just become the general way in which I view life. I think there still is that bit of realism in me. There are times when I am very aware of the practical considerations of life that would prevent a certain ideal to be met. But I do still have those ideals, and I do still seek after them.

The world is a beautiful place.

10 Paradoxical Commandments

2006-10-15T14:33:00.000-04:00

by Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.

People favour underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.

Singin' in the Rain!

2006-09-27T19:07:00.000-04:00

I feel that I have been quite remiss! I was scanning through some of my previous posts and I found this one, and I realized that I did something just recently worthy of mention (at least from my perspective), but failed to blog about it. Ah me... oh well.

Updates:
Age: 20 years old
Level of behaviour: 6 years old

Wonderful!

Last Thursday, the 21st of September, it was a dark and stormy... okay, light and stormy.... okay, fine! It was raining in the middle of the afternoon. K-- (one of my roommates) and I were enjoying a late lunch in our living room, watching the rain and the students trying to stay as dry as possible in the downpour. Most were caught without umbrellas, but some were fairly creative. Hoods up, binders protecting good (and bad) hair days, running down the path to seek shelter in the building. But K-- and I? Well, we're a little different.
"You know what I really feel like doing?" she said.
"What?" I asked her.
"Singing in the rain."
"You know what? Me too."
We looked at each other, looked outside and then she exclaimed, "Let's do it!"
We ran around the apartment grabbing shoes and sweaters/rainjackets and then boldly stepped outside giggling before we'd even gotten the slightest bit rained on.
"So here's the deal," I said. "We'll stay out here until it stops raining or we get completely soaked."
Needless to say, we got completely soaked.
I wish we had taken pictures, but since we didn't, let me just say that the level of soakédness was such that my jeans that I hung to dry were wet until the next day when I grabbed them to do laundry. We walked across campus, jumping in puddles (really jumping. Furiously jumping. Jumping and sufficiently soaking ourselves, and sometimes innocent passer-bys that we saw too late). It was the middle of the afternoon and people were huddled under doorways and cautiously making their way from building to building, so the sight of two third-years skipping through campus, giggling, pushing and splashing each other elicited some confused, some amused, and some very suspicious looks ;-). I'm generally not a spontaneous person, so I'm very thankful for K-- because she is, and she helps me to be that way as well.
So we came back completely soaked through, able to wring water out of our clothes and hair. We grabbed some hot drinks and other than a little cough, had a great time. And now I can cross another thing off of my life to do list. :-D Being a kid is great!

L is for the way...

2006-09-27T19:00:00.000-04:00

A friend recently posted his thoughts on love. This topic has been on my mind for awhile now. What is love? How can we live it out? How did God intend for us to live it? How does Christ enable us to do so? I'm sure that in the next little while at least one or two posts from this author will appear on the topic of love. Until then, I would direct you to the link above to read my friend's perspective.

And I pray that you, "may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge - that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." ~Ephesians 3:18-19

21 Suggestions for Success

2006-09-21T00:09:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine had these posted in their room. I thought they bore repeating.

21 Suggestions for Success
H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

1. Marry the right person. This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.

2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.

3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.

5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.

6. Be generous.

7. Have a grateful heart.

8. Persistence, persistence, persistence.

9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.

10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.

11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.

12. Commit yourself to quality.

13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions, power or prestige, but on relationships with people you love and respect.

14. Be loyal.

15. Be honest.

16. Be a self-starter.

17. Be decisive even if it means you'll sometimes be wrong.

18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.

19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.

20. Take good care of those you love.

21. Don't do anything that wouldn't make your Mom proud.

More from an English Geek

2006-09-08T00:41:00.000-04:00

Possibly the weirdest sentence in the English language is: “Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo”.

It takes a bit to understand this, so let’s build up from simple stuff. First, suppose that dogs chase cats, who then chase mice. Another way of saying this is:

“Cats that dogs chase, chase mice”

But the comma and the word “that” aren’t technically needed, so we can say:

“Cats dogs chase chase mice”.

But cats also chase other cats, so we could say:

“Cats dogs chase chase cats”.

And they can be chased by other cats too:

“Cats cats chase chase cats”.

Step back and look at this sentence for a moment. This is the basic structure of the buffalo sentence. Let’s think about buffalo chasing other buffalo:

“Buffalo buffalo chase chase buffalo”.

Now there’s a lesser-known English verb “to buffalo” meaning “to push around”. So instead of chasing, let’s make these buffalo push each other around:

“Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo”.

Remember that this means:

“Buffalo that buffalo push around, push buffalo around”.

For the final step, let’s just talk about a particular kind of buffalo - the kind that live in the zoo in Buffalo, New York. These, of course, are Buffalo buffalo - just as the lions are Buffalo lions.

“Buffalo buffalo that Buffalo Buffalo push around, push Buffalo buffalo around”

or more properly:

“Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo”.

From Pete Bevin via.

;-)

Grocery Shopping

2006-09-05T20:04:00.000-04:00

I'm here! I'm back at school! Hurrah! I'm really excited to be back. I'm missing everyone from home (family and friends), but I'm also quite excited to be here. Anyhow, today was the first official grocery shop of the term. Alas, it was not quite as successful as we had hoped. Me and my three roommates all headed out together, and we went to a store that shall remain unnamed (1st word: a four-letter word for what a grocery store sells; 2nd word: if something is simple, it is ________ and add an "s" to that...) Anyhow, so this store we went to... We stopped in a plaza to pick up some things at other stores, and we decided just to stop at this grocery store. Alas, this store had several things counting against it.

1. It was ridiculously busy. Rather, the store itself wasn't all that busy, but the checkout system was slow, so everyone found themselves lined up across the store to checkout.
2. The selection was quite poor. There were several items on my list that I didn't end up getting because they didn't have what I was looking for. For example, they didn't have a popular brand of rice that I usually purchase, so I didn't get any of that.
3. The quality of their produce was quite poor as well. I didn't purchase any lettuce because of the four or five heads they had left, the outer two layers were dirty and "rusty" (what do you call it when the lettuce goes red?), and there were miscellaneous leaves thrown all over the near-empty produce bin.
4. All over the store, it looked like an army of shoppers had gone through the store depleting stock and knocking around that which was left.
5. The prices weren't significantly cheaper.
6. Carrying groceries around in boxes is uncomfortable, heavy, and makes getting through doors difficult. Plus, those kind of boxes are hard to make use of later.

Needless to say, the four of us decided that we wouldn't be returning to that store. I prefer a store like Dominian (A&P, etc). But that's probably mainly because that is where my mom shops, and so I know what to expect, what brands are going to be there, etc. I also kind of miss the little market just outside our subdivision back home. It was more expensive, but their produce was always top-notch and I knew the staff by sight. Oh well! It's a lot of fun being back.

p.s. I hope that all my friends from home and away will keep in touch.

Transcendence

2006-09-02T00:11:00.000-04:00

This artist is fabulous.

Those are feathers in the bottom of the picture frame. ;-)

For more of this artist's humourous and thought-provoking creations, go here.

Hair Part II

2006-08-26T22:10:00.000-04:00

(Star Wars: Return of the Jedi spoiler... but if you need that warning, you really should be watching that movie, not reading this blog ;-) )

I have so many dear memories from when Matthew was a baby. We used to have these bookshelves in our family room, and I have vivid memories of walking into the room finding the bottom three shelves empty, and our dear little Critter standing amidst a sea of books on the floor, slowly adding to their number, by methodically pulling the rest of them off the shelves one by one. And the time Josh and I asked him why he was getting so upset because he wasn't allowed to go to the ice cream truck one night and his tearful reply was, "Ice cream is what makes me happy." Or the time (more recently, though) when we heard the most heartwrenching sobs coming from the basement family room and found him watching the credits to Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, tears streaming down his face and when asked what the matter was, he sobbed out, "Luke's father died!" Upon our reassurances that, no, he didn't die, he came back, Matthew looked hopeful and asked where. We told him it was right at the very end, and Matthew sat back with a resigned look and said, "No, he just comes back as some stupid ghost."

He is a wonderful child, and right now too young to read my blog, so with any luck, I can get away with sharing all of these memories. And whether I can or can't right now, I'm saving them up for when he gets married. He can't escape them! ;-)

Anyhow, another favourite memory is the first time I got my hair cut after he was born. Actually, I think it was the first time I ever got my hair cut, or at least the first time I got it cut short... hmm... Well, regardless, it was after my grade eight graduation, so Matthew must have been only three or four years old. And I got it cut really short. It went from being nearly 3/4 of the way down my back to just brushing my shoulders. And I had bangs. Actually, there's a very cute (if it were someone else), but very embarrassing (since it's me) picture that I have to show for it in my grade nine yearbook. Anyways, Mom and I went to get the cut and upon returning home, I had to show it to everyone, of course. The boys were all downstairs, so I went down to show them, and no word of a lie, little Matthew did not recognize me. Not the standard, "Oh, is that you? I didn't recognize you with that haircut!" But he actually didn't recognize me, as in I may as well have been someone he hadn't met before. It took several coaxings before we could convince him that I was his big sister, but I think he just needed to adjust to the change, because after a little bit, he could recognize me just fine.

Actually, we learned about this in our developmental psychology class. Infants tend to look at outlines, whereas older children look at the details of a face, so Matthew's reaction would have made sense, since he was right around that age. Isn't psychology fascinating? ;-)

And isn't Matthew adorable? I only have a few more years to use that word about him! He's already giving me annoyed looks if the word "cute" slips out when I'm talking about him. Anyhow, he is adorable, and these stories just go to show it.

Hair Part I

2006-08-26T21:44:00.000-04:00

I cut my hair.

To those of you who only know me through my blog picture (to the right of your screen... yea, that one) this is not a momentus event. To those of you who know me in person, this is huge. I had been growing my hair since early April 2005, so over a year. And I had been growing it for a purpose. In April of 2005, for various reasons, I promised my hair to God. When it comes to my hair, I definitely go through cycles. I like getting it cut and am really enthused about having it short, but I soon come to miss my long hair and desire to grow it out. But once it reaches a certain length, I start itching to cut it again. I usually just cut it whenever I feel like it. But this time, in April 2005, after I had just gotten it cut, I promised my God that I would grow it out again, and this time, I would not cut it until it was long enough. And long enough by these standards was long enough to donate to Locks of Love.

I got my hair cut yesterday. I was not intending to get it cut. I had actually been meaning to get it trimmed this entire summer. I was getting bad split ends and I just wanted to tidy it up. I figured that I would need to take off a couple of inches to remove the damage (I was right) and then I would have to let it grow for another few months before it would be ready to donate (I was wrong). But I was fine with that. I was looking forward to getting my hair cut, but I was definitely fine with waiting a little longer.

So that's what my appointment was for. I told the stylist that I just wanted a trim in order to remove the damage. She showed me where she would have to cut, and then she looked like she was studying my hair. She took her comb, and I honestly had no idea what she was doing. But then she held up my hair, her finger marking a spot on it and said, "You know, if you went this much, you could donate it." I wonder if the surprise registered on my face. "Just food for thought," she said with a little shrug. "Really?" I asked, the surprise definitely registered in my voice. "Yea," she said. "Well then definitely, go for it," I said. So she started putting the elastics in place and I said, "You could actually go shorter than that." It was her turn to be surprised. "I've had my hair really short before," I said, "And this was actually the reason I was growing my hair." The elastics went higher up and with a few quick snips, I found myself with hair that's 10 inches shorter.

So it was quite the surprise for my mom (who had left while this discussion was going on) and for my dad (who thought we were just going to get a trim). It didn't effect my brothers too much, I don't think, especially since I've gotten my hair cut like this before, and the surprise of my friends I won't actually know until tomorrow and then September 4th, because I won't see them until those days. And who knows, with this post, it may mean that no one will be surprised at all!

Regardless, this was fun, and I'll probably do this again.

And so, if you're a girl (or a guy, I suppose?) think about growing your hair out. Or if it's long, think about cutting it. On the website I linked to above, they give you all of the directions for how long it has to be and for sending it in, and everything like that. It's just one way to make a difference.